I'm Proud of You Son
by adder574
Summary: Takes place after Devil's Trap. John, Sam and Bobby recall significant events in Dean's life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: I'm Proud of you Son.  
Summary: John recalls significant events in Dean's life  
Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural, it is owned by the CW and Eric Kripke and company. No money is being made from this.

CHAPTER 1

John Winchester sat in a wheelchair in room 1013, at Angel of Mercy General hospital. It had been four days since the incident at the cabin and the subsequent accident. John had to have surgery on his leg and he had several broken ribs. One of the ribs had punctured his lung and John had just had the chest tube that drained the build up of fluid removed that morning. This was the first time he had seen Dean since the accident. Sam had been lucky, he had only suffered a concussion, broken wrist and various cuts and bruises. He was due to be discharged any day. John had come in this moring to stay with Dean and sent Sam back to his room for some much needed rest.

John watched as the ventilator pushed air in and out of Dean's lungs. He looked as white as a ghost. _Don't go there John, he thought to himself._ He looked up as he heard someone come into the room.

"Hello, you must be Dean's father, John Chesterwin. I'm nurse Susan Taylor," the nurse said greeting John.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Your son, Sam, mentioned you."

"How's Dean?"

"His vitals are steady, Mr Chesterwin, but as you know, he is still in critical condition he's, still in a coma. He's a fighter though, that's for sure. Most people I've treated with injuries as severe as your son' don't even make it to the hospital."

"Dean's definitely a fighter, he always has been," John said softly.

"I know it must be hard to see him like this, no parent should have to watch their child suffer," Susan offered sympathetically.

"You never get used to it. I wish I could say this is the first time that I've seen him like this."

"Your son was on a vent before?" Susan queried.

"Yeah, the first time was when Dean was a just a few minutes old," said John recalling the memory.

"I was so overjoyed when Mary told me she was pregnant. I went out the next day and opened an account and put a hundred dollars into it. I decided that it was never to too early to start saving for my child's college fund. Unfortunately, Mary's pregnancy was difficult right from the start, you name the complication and she had it. At six months, she actually went into labour. The doctors managed to stop it and Mary was put on bed rest. However, when Dean sets his mind to something, nothing stops him. I'm not sure if he thought he was missing something important or what, but four weeks later, my son, Jonathan Dean Chesterwin Jr, decided to introduce himself. We called him Dean to avoid confusion. There was nothing the doctor could do to stop labour this time. As soon as he was born, he was whisked away before we even got to see him. When we finally could, he was in an incubator and on a ventilator. He was so tiny," John paused.

Susan remained silent, she didn't want to say anything that would cause John to stop. She couldn't place it, she tried not to get too involved with patients, especially working in ICU, something about the young man in the bed made Susan want to hear more. She was glad when John continued.

"The doctors gave us almost no hope. They kept saying that Dean wouldn't make it through the night and we should prepare ourselves, and that even if by some miracle he did survive, he would have a whole host of physical and mental problems. I was a marine and saw combat in 'Nam, but nothing had ever scared me more than when the doctors told me my son might die. My wife would hear none of it though. She was my rock, kept me going. Dean made it through that first night. It may sound strange, but the first thing I felt when I woke up the next moring and found my son was still alive was not relief but pride. I was so proud of him. Even at 3 pounds, 4 ounces, my son took on the world and kicked its ass."

Susan chuckled at that. John looked up, he had forgotten she was there. Susan hoped he would continue, she wanted to hear more.

"Dean made it through the second night and then the first week, and then the month. He spent a total of ten weeks in the NICU, seven of those on a ventilator. I was ecstatic when the doctors told us we could take Dean home, I was also really nervous though, because the doctors were right there in the hospital if something were to go wrong. It was still touch and go after that, he was in and out of the hospital for the first two years of his life. He picked up every cold and flu that came around. One thing that went in our favour was that Dean seemed to be developing normally with regards to walking and talking. He took a while to catch up to everyone height wise, Dean's not short, but the Wi...Chesterwins are tall. Most of us average at least 6"3, he's the shortest in the family, his brother's 6"4, Dean's six feet even. It always irritated Dean that his little brother ended up taller than him, and believe me, Sam rubbed that in every chance he got." John smiled at the memory.

"I met your other son, Sam. He and Dean seem close."

"They are. After my wife and I got married, we decided to have three kids at two years apart. That changed after Dean was born, because of Mary's complications, we were both nervous to try again. There was also Dean's health. He needed a lot of care those first couple of years and we both felt that it wouldn't be fair to another child because we wouldn't be able to give that child the attention he or she would need.

His health improved as he got older, he was only in the hospital once just after he turned 3. With everythin that he'd been through, Dean was a good kid, he seemed to take whatever was happening to him in his stride. He didn't ask ask for much, except that he nagged constantly for a baby brother. When Dean turned four, and went without any major health issues or hospital admissions for almost a year, we decided to try again, We were both unsure of what to expect, but again, we were lucky. As complicated as Mary's first pregnancy was, her second was the complete opposite. It went text book from beginning to end and nine months later, 7 lb 10 ounce Samuel Francis Chesterwin entered the world. He was named after both my father and Mary's. Dean was so happy when he found out he had a brother, he was so protective of him right from the start. I was a lucky man. We decided that we'd had our share of miracles and decided not to tempt fate a third time. Our family was complete. I had a beautiful loving wife and two healthy sons and my business was becoming a success, my partner and I were talking about opening a second garage. A man couldn't have asked for more. To me, life was perfect."

Susan heard her name over the PA, she had to go.

"Mr. Chesterwin, I believe if anyone can beat this it's Dean. I'll be back to check on him later."

"Thanks. Sorry for talking your ear off," John said.

"Actually, it was my no bother, sometimes we just need to talk," Susan said with a smile.

Susan walked out the door and John continued to watch over his son.

A/N: I love the character of Dean. This is my attempt to describe events in Dean's life that made him the way he is. I know that John would not open up to a stranger, but I figure since John is so worried about Dean, he would be talking without thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- 

On his way back to his room, John stopped in briefly to see Sam. The doctors and nurses had told him that if he ate and rested, he could go back and see Dean later that day. _What am I four, thought John._

Later, when John entered Dean's cubicle in the ICU, he saw there was a doctor with him. To John's eyes, this man didn't look old enough to have gone to high school, let alone med school.

"Hello, you must be Mr. Chesterwin. I'm Dr. Jaden." He noticed John looking at him. "Yes, I know that I look young, but I assure you that I did go to med school," the doctor commented as if he were reading John's mind.

"Sorry," John started to apologize. 

"Don't worry about it, my nickname in the staff lounge is Doogie."

"Huh?"

"You know Doogie Howser, the tv show about the kid doctor?"

"I don't watch much TV," John said with a small shrug.

"It was a pretty good show, they've got the DVDs out now. Anyway, your son is holding his own, however, there is no change in his status, he's still in the coma."

"That's bad isn't it," John stated.

"Honestly, it would be better if he was showing some signs of coming out of it, but remember, Dean's body has been through some major trauma. This may just be his body's way of dealing with it, shutting down allows it to repair itself," explained Dr. Jaden.

"Dean does that a lot."

"What do you mean?" the doctor asked.

"Whenever something happens that Dean doesn't want to deal with, he shuts down. I don't mean he goes into a coma, but he goes inside of himself, like when Dean was four. My wife, she… ahh, she died in a house fire," John's voice hitched, but he forced the feelings down and continued. "For about two months after that, he wouldn't talk. It was almost like he had to process what happened. He hates being fussed over, I guess that's from him being premature, he was poked and prodded so much the first two years of his life. When he started talking again, I was so relieved." 

"I'm sorry about your wife, Mr. Chesterwin, that must have been very hard."

"Yeah, I don't think I would have made it through if it hadn't been for my boys, especially Dean. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't cope well with what happened. My four year old son stepped up though. He may not have been talking, but the way he took care of his brother was amazing, Sam was only six months old. Dean got up in the middle of the night and made sure Sam was clean and dry and that he got his bottle, even changed him. He would spend the night in Sam's crib holding him, making sure he was safe. Dean was alway's protective of Sam, but that increased ten fold after the fire."

"You must have been proud."

"Yeah, that's actually what got Dean to talk again. Sam got his first tooth, Dean screamed for me to come. I thought something was wrong, but Dean wanted me to see it. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that Dean had spoken. He hated to leave his brother's side and Sam didn't like it when Dean wasn't there either. Getting Dean to school sometimes was a nightmare."

He started kindergarten when he was five. He didn't like school much. He was difficult, not really bad, but when something frustrated him, he wouldn't talk, he'd go quiet like I mentioned. Somehow, Dean's silences say so much more than words ever could. I remember toward the end of the year, his teacher decided to hold a mother's day party. All the kids were supposed to mak invitations and take them home. The only thing Dean liked about school was art class, he loved to draw. Unfortunately, Dean's teacher didn't have much patience with him and when he went quiet, rather than asking what was wrong, she chalked it up to another of his moods and let it go. Later, when she checked on him, he seemed to be doing the assignment. When Dean came home that day, he gave me an invitation and asked me to come. I called his teacher and explained about his mom and to make sure it was okay if I was there."

"Must have been a hard time for the little guy, having to get through that first mother's day," said the doctor. Like Susan before him, he wanted John to keep going.

"Yeah, it was. When I called, the teacher had the nerve to say that it would probably just be easier to keep Dean home the next day. I was tempted to let her have a piece of my mind for her attitude, but Dean was in the next room. I said I would think about it and hung up on her. Anyway, I decided that it would actually be easier to keep Dean home the next day. Believe me, I was shocked though, when he said he wanted to go, normally he would jump at any opportunity to skip school."

"There must have been a reason," said Dr. Jaden curiously.

"Yup, there was. I took him to school and needless to say, the teacher was surpurised to see us. I knew it was going to be hard on Dean and no matter what the teacher said, I was staying, Dean wanted me there. Then, at the start of party, the teacher had every one of the kids come up and introduce their mothers. The teacher was going in alphabetical order and she skipped right over Dean. I was livid. Dean just put his hand up and calmly asked for his turn."

"I would be mad too, I guess that Dean wanted to introduce you."

"That was my guess, but what actually happened was something I would never have expected. Dean walked up to the front of the room. He held up a picture of his mom and me, one of the few that survived the fire. He said that this was picture of his mom because she couldn't be there. Then he said all the things that his mom did with him, baked cookies, read, sat with him when he had be in the hospital, tucked him in, gave him a baby brother. Then, what he said next broke my heart, I'll never forget it. He said 'The reason my mom can't be here today, is that she has a really important job.' I could hear the woman next to me mutter something about what's more important than her child. Let me tell you, what Dean said next made her eat her words. He said 'She watches over me, daddy, and baby Sammy, and other families and keeps them safe. She's a guardian angel up in heaven. I made an invitation for my daddy and one for my mom. I gave Mommy's to Daddy's friend, Pastor Jim, and asked if he could get it up to Mommy in heaven. He said he would. So even though you can't see her, I know she's here keeping us all safe just like angel's do.' Then he said 'I love you, mom' and walked back to his seat. After that, there wasn't a dry eye in the room." 

John felt his own eyes filling with tears after recalling Dean's speech that day. He looked up and noticed that Dr. Jaden's eyes had tears in them as well.

"You must have been proud at the way the way he handed the situation," the young doctor commented.

"Proud didn't even begin to describe the way I felt that day. When the party ended, I asked him why he wanted me there. He said that he knew his mom would be there and he thought I would want to be there with her, and then he asked me if he did a good job telling everyone about his mom. I told him it was perfect and then I told him how proud I was and how proud his mother would be. I asked Jim about the other invitation later and he gave it to me. Dean doesn't know, but I still have it to this day."

Dr. Jaden heard his pager go off. He didn't want to leave. He knew that there was much more to this young man's story and he wanted to hear it. He thanked John for story with him and left John with the thought that Dean was holding his own. He was going to take care of his page and find Dean's day nurse, Susan. He wanted to see if John had told her anything about Dean. He wanted to hear it and would swap what he had just learned.

John watched as Dr. Jaden left the room. He couldn't believe he had told two complete strangers so much about Dean. He couldn't help himself though, he was proud of his son and the man that he had become, and he wanted people to know it. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this.

CHAPTER 3

John couldn't sleep. After sitting with Dean in the afternoon, he went and visited with Sam. The good news was Sam was being released the next day. John had been in touch with his friend Bobby, and he said they were all welcome to to say with him, until they were back on there feet. He new that Sam would be safe at there. He was still extremely worried about Dean, who after 4 days was showing no sign of coming out his coma. He didn't know why but for some reason he felt really anxious and more worried than usual. He felt that he needed to get to Dean's room now. The only problem was that there was no wheelchair or cruches in the room and John knew that his leg would never support him for the two floors down to the ICU. He was just getting ready to ring for a nurse when a doctor came into the room. When he saw that it was Dean's surgeon, Dr. Leeman, he knew it couldn't be good.

"Mr. Chesterwin, I have some news about Dean, and I'm afraid that its not good."

John felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. "Oh my God he's not..."

"Im so sorry Mr. Chesterwin, I didn't mean to give you that impression. No he's alive but Im sorry to tell you that there has been a complication. His nurse went in to change his bandages and noticed blood in his chest tube, we ran some tests and he's bleeding internally again. We are going to have to take him back into surgury."

"He'll be ok right?" asked John despartely wanting the doctors to say yes.

"Im going to do every thing I can, but as much as I want to I can't give you a guaruntee. We need your permission for surgury."

"Of course, just do want ever you can to get him better."

"I have to tell you there are the risks from general anesthesia, but pnuemonia is is our biggest worry. Thats the most common complication after thoracic surgury."

"I want to see him before you take him."

"Mr. Chesterwin it's important that we get Dean into surgury as soon as possible."

"Look Doc, I have to see him, Its a promise I made to him. I told him if he needed surgury I would be with him before they took him into the operating room. I have to see him NOW, so either get me a wheel chair or I will crawl on my hands and knees if I have to."

"Dean's in a coma, he may not even know that your there."

"You dont know Dean, Dr Leeman, he'll know, trust me on this ok." With that John was already attempting to get out of bed.

Knowing that there was no way he was going to stop John, so he pressed the call button and asked the nurse if he would bring John down to Dean's ICU cubicle.

John's nurse, Sarah Evans pushed him down to the ICU area. When John entered Dean's room, and looked at his son it took his breath away. If it was possible he was paler than he was before, and he had another IV attached to him and John could see that they were giving Dean a transfusion.

"Hey Dean, Im here ok. just like I promised. I know that operations are no fun, but you need it . Your going to be fine kiddo, and I promise that I will be here when you wake up."

John gave a nod to the doctor and they started out the door. John put his hand on Dean's shoulder, it was the only place without a tube. He kept giving Dean assurances that he would be fine. The nurse pushed his wheelchair along side Dean's strecther. He reluctantly let go when they reached the OR.

"Mr Chesterwin, Its going to be awhile, why don't you let me take you back to your room. I promise I will come for you the minute that Dean is out of surgury."

"Actually can you take me to Sam's room. I have to tell him about Dean. I don't want him hearing it from the staff."

"Sure."

Sarah started toward the Sam's room. She knew it was selfish but she was kind of hoping that if John went back to his room, he might start talking. Susan Taylor was her best friend, and she had shared with Sarah. Sarah, like Susan and Dr. Jaden, was fascinated. When she got to Sam's room John saw that he was sleeping. He didn't have the heart to wake him. He asked Sarah to just leave him there.

Sarah left and went back to the nurses station. She said she was going to take her break, and then she went and got a cup of coffee and brought it to John. He was grateful.

"Any word on Dean?" he asked her

"Nothing yet."

"Please come get me the minute he get out. It's important."

"Has he had surgury before.": Sarah asked, she was fishing and she wasn't ashamed to admit it.

"Yeah twice when he was 7, and when he was 13. Dean was born two months premature, and the doctors found that he had a hole in his heart a few months later. I guess its a common problem for premies. This is was back in 1979. It was major open heat surgury back then, Dean would never have survived the operation. They said that it was small and not really affecting him so they wanted to wait until he was stronger before they tried to fix it, or it was possible that it might not ever bother him. They didnt want to have to cut his open his chest if they didnt have to."

"I don't blame them. That's rough on an adult"

"I know, when Dean started getting older and becoming more active he found it really hard to catch his breath after playing." _Actually thought John, he was starting incease Dean's training and it involved learing to fight, and take care of himself against the supernatural but here was no way he was admitting that_.

"When he was 7 there was one time after a ... um a soccor game that he had so much trouble catching his breath I took him to a hospital. The doctors thought that he might have asthma but, and gave him the puffers, but it didn't really help. After more tests they decided it was his heart that was causing the problem, they said to much unoxygenated blood was getting through. They said that we had 2 options. One was to keep Dean from over exerting himself, or open heart surgury to repair the hole.

"Im guessing that choice one was not a real option?" asked Sarah.

"No, Dean didn't even like to take naps. I doubt even tying him down would make him keep still. The only choice was to repair the hole. Now Dean is a pretty good kid. He endured alot. He didn't like it but he usually didn't put up to much fuss whenever the doctors had to do something, except when the doctors told him he needed on operation."

"He became upset."

"That's putting it mildly. I never saw him like that before. Usually when something upsets him he goes quiet. Wont say a word to anyone. Thats how he dealt with things that scared him. I figured that was what this would be like. I wasn't prepared when he reacted physcially. He yelled, jumped out of bed, kicked the doctor and tried to run out the door. I grabbed him and he fought. He ended up having to be sedated. Let me tell you he wasn't much happier when he awoke. He kept asking me over and over to take him home, not to let the doctors cut him. It took everthing I had in me not to grab him and run but in the long run I knew that would be better for him. That's when I promised him that I wouldn't leave him alone. I said that my face was going to be the last thing he saw before he went to sleep and the first thing he saw when he woke up. The doctors actually let me into the operating room, until they put him out. It was essetial that he remain calm."

"I hope things went ok."

"He came through surgury like a trooper, and I was there when he woke up. The recovery was rough though."

"Did he have complications."

"No thank god, but he was in alot of pain. That was the worst part of it all, I hated seeing him suffer. He'd already been through so much. I was so proud of him the way he dealt with it. After the surgury was over he was back to his his old self, accepting whatever came his way. I may be biased but Dean is bravest person I know."

"Mr. Chesterwin, I only know what you you told me and I have to agree," said Sarah.

John went quiet.. Sarah guessed that he was done. She was trying to figure out a way to get John to tell her about the other time Dean had surgury when she realized that her break almost over and they both noticed that Sam was starting to wake up.

"As soon as I have any info on your son, I will come get you."

"Thank you and thanks for listening."

"No problem it was my pleasure," said Sarah.

As Sarah walked down the hall she could hear John telling Sam that Dean had to go back to surgury.

A/N: All medical infomation in this chapter is made up. I tried to find information about being born with a hole in the heart would affect a person, or if it had to be repaired right away, but I couldn't reallty find what I was looking for. So I uses a little artistic license and made the medical info fit the situation. As always please read and review.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this.

A/N Thanks for your feedback it was really appriciated. There is lots more Sam in this chapter. I hope it does not disappoint.

Chapter 4

"Hey dad." said Sam waking up, "What time is it?"

"About 6am."

"Whats going on...oh god dad is Dean alright"

"That's why im here Sam, they had to take Dean back into surgury. He was bleeding internally."

"He'll be ok though right."

"Im still waiting to hear. He was just brought in about an a hour ago. I didnt want you to hear it from the staff. "

"Thanks, he's going to be fine." said Sam with conviction.

"Darn right said John "I'll order him to be fine if I have to."

Before Sam could respond the door opened and John saw Dr. Leeman come in.

"How's Dean," said both John and Sam at the same time.

"Well he's in recovery, as you know Dean was already in a weaked state. It was hard on him. We had a chest tube in him to drain fluid off his lungs after his first surgury. During this one his lung collapsed. We had to put in a second chest tube. The good news is that the bleeding seems to be under control. He's on his was to recovery and then he will be brought back to ICU in a couple of hours. Right now our biggest concern is pnemonia."

"I want to see him." both John and Sam in unison again.

It was usually hospital policy not to let family into the recovery room, but Dr. Leeman knew that he had a better chance of winning the lottery than winning an arguement against a Chesterwin. He just said "I get a nurse."

Sam and John were brought down to the recovery area. Sam and John sat with Dean, and to keep their minds off their worries they kept up a series of mindless chatter. Sam told John things that happened in college, and John shared some stories of hunts that he and Dean had while Sam was away.

Sam could not believe it when 2 hours had passed and he and John had not had one agrument or even the hint of an argument. It was almost like, even uncounsious Dean was playing the peacemaker. They were so worried about Dean they forgot to be mad at each other.

Shortly after that, the medical staff had came in to make arrangements to move Dean back to the ICU. As soon as he was setteled John and Sam were right back at his side.

A little while later Susan came in to check on him. She frowned when she took Dean's temperature. Neither Sam or John missed this.

"What wrong." demanded Sam and John. For the third time that day it came out in unison.

"Dean's temperature is elevated. I better page Dr. Leeman," she said leaving before either man could say anything.

Almost immediately Dr. Leeman appeared at the door. He quickly assesed Dean's condition, and he gave Susan a bunch of orders, and she left.

"We are going to be changing Dean's antibiotic, and give him somthing stronger. Unfortunetly I can't give you any prognois, at this time it is still wait and see."

"Dean never does any thing the easy way does he dad."

Dr. Leeman had heard the buzz about his patient around the nurses station and in the doctors lounge. He kind of hoped he was getting a story , because like everyone else he was hooked.

"Nurse Sarah mentioned a previous surgury."

"Yeah," said Sam "I remember he was what dad 6 the first time he had on operation and 13 the second time."

"7, Dean was 7 the first time had surgury."

"Can I ask what for." asked Dr Leeman

"He had to have a hole in his heart repaired, when he was seven. When he was 13 he had to have surgury to have his lung repaired."

"Like he did after the car accident?" asked Dr. Leeman.

"No." said Sam "He had a punctured lung from a broken rib. He was injured by saving our fathers life."

"We were hunting out a friend's cabin. " said John. "What we didnt know was that there was grizzly in the area. I didn't even see it until it was almost on me. Dean did though. Just as it was getting ready attack Dean hit me with a flying tackle that would have made the Kansas City Chiefs proud. The bear hit him full force and knocked him into a tree. _Actually thought John it was a vengeful spirt that threw Dean against the tree._ I managed to shoot it, before it could attack him again. Dean ended up with 2 good sized gashes and 3 broken ribs. Like I said the ribs punctured his lung. They put in a chest tube but after a week his lung was showing no signs of healing. The doctors decided to surgically repair it. Dean didn't react well to needing surgury but he got through it unfortunetly unlike the last time he had complications. He developed pnemonia. We almost lost him."

"I remember how proud I was at that time to be Dean's little brother," added Sam. "We had to write and essay for school on our hero's so I told everyone that Dean was mine. I thought it was cool that my brother took on a full grown grizzly and saved a life. Nobody eles could say that about their big brothers."

"You must have been proud too Mr. Chesterwin."

"I was but it was what happened after he got out of the hospital that made me realize exactly what kind of person my son was."

"Oh yeah Dad I almost forgot about the guitar."

Both me seemed lost in though remembering. Dr Leeman really wanted to hear the rest.

"Go ahead Sam," said John. "It's more your story than mine. After all Dean did it for you."

Now Dr. Leeman was really curious.

"Doctor my brother would do anything for me or Dad. He never asked for anything in return. However there was one thing that Dean did want more than anything and that was a guitar. Money was tight. Dad really could not afford to buy him one. Both of us knew that Dean would never ask for one. Dean had a long recovery after he got out of the hospital. Dad did a favour for a friend one time. This guy had an old guitar that his son no longer used. He gave it to Dad as a way to say thank you. Dean loved that it. He even taught himself to play."

"Nearly drove me and Sam nuts. He played it night and day." said John.

"Anyway," continued Sam. " about a month later I was playing soccor at school and got hit in the mouth with the ball. I ended up chipping my front tooth and of course I had just got my permanent one. I was really upset because I remember school picture day was less than a week away. Dad took me to the dentist but he wanted the money to fix it up front."

"My job didn't have a dental plan and there was no way I was going to have the money before school photo day." said John

"I didn't even want to go to school beceause I was embarrarssed. Dean tried to cheer me up but nothing he did or said could. . Then a couple of days later Dad says I have a dentist appointment and I was going to get my tooth fixed. I was so happy." Sam stopped.

John than picked it up. "I felt so bad that I didn't have the money but I had Dean's medical bills on top of everything everything else. Then Dean came to me and handed me the money for Sam' s dentist. I asked him where he got the it. He didn't want to tell me at first but I had to know where a 13 year old got that kind of money."

Dr Leeman had a feeling where this was going. "He sold the guitar didn't he"

"Yup," said John. "He tried to say that he didn't really like it and it was to hard to play. I knew Dean wasn't telling the truth about that. He just hated to see his brother upset. I was so proud of him that day."

Susan came in then and they changed out Dean's antibiotic.

"I'll be back in a litte while to check on Dean. You can page me if there any problem." said Nurse Susan.

"Mr Chesterwin, Sam I know that cliches are not what you want to hear, but Dean is fighter and that makes a difference.

"Thank you." said John and Sam as Dr. Leeman and Susan headed out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this.

Chapter 5

2 Days Later

John and Sam continued to sit by Dean's bedside. Sam had been officially discharged but he never went far, It was now going on a week that since the accident, and Dean was still in the coma and showing no signs of coming out of it. Worse yet his temperature was still hovering around 101. Both were getting worried . He had to be alright. John was greatful that at least Dean had developed no further complications.

Sam had taken a short break and had run down to the caferteria. John didnt want Dean left alone for minute so he Sam and Bobby were taking turns sittng with him. John was relucant to leave because of the promise that he made to Dean when he was seven, that his dad's face would be the first he would see if he woke up from surgury. John did not want to break it, so he spent as much time as he possibly could with his son.

The doctors and nurses were very understanding, and didn't really enforce the visitor rules. He was starting to become nervous about this. He was starting to wonder if maybe they were letting him have this time with his son because they didn't expect him to survive. Little did John know that this was the furtherst thing from the acutal truth. The staff felt that if there was anyone that coud survive it was Dean. The actual truth was that Dean's life story was the most popular topic around the hospital and all the doctors and nurses were letting John be there whenever he wanted was because they were hoping to hear the next chapter. As always there was one exception.

"Good morning Mr. Chesterwin."

John glanced at the door and saw that it was Dean's other nurse Donna Smith.

"Good morning Donna," said John acknowlegding her greeting.

Donna than took Dean's vitals.

"How's he doing," questioned John.

"No change im afraid, his temp's still holding steady at 101," said Donna. She finished noting the information and was getting ready to leave. Donna had been a nurse for 35 years and was months away from retirement. She was also a stickler for the rules. Donna just could not understand why so many ICU rules were being broken just to accomadate one family. She could not remember any other time in the history of her employment when so many acceptions were made. She knew that that all the staff in the ICU was fascinated with the patients history, but in her mind that was no excuse. Donna was hoping that the younger one was going to be there today because she wanted to get out of there without getting tied up, as the others did with father. She could even take the other one, Bobby if she remembered his name correctly. There was another rule being broken, as normally it was only immediate family that was allowed to visit the ICU.

It wasn't that Donna did not care about her patients, she did and she was an excellent nurse. It was that after 35 years on the job, she learned not to get over emtionally involved with her patients, escpecially since she was a nurse in the ICU, where they lost a fair amount of their patients. Donna had gotten involved with her patients when she first started and it had almost ended her nursing careering before it began.  
Donna was finishing charting Dean's vitals when she heard John speak.

" Dammit Dean, Im ordering you to get better ok." said John authoritatelvy. "Enough of this . Now wake up and tell me yes sir."

Donna looked at John, surprised. So far she had never even seen him even raise his voice. When he spoke he sounded like a drill sargeant.

"Mr. Chesterwin, is every ok."

"Sorry. just my frustration getting the better of me. I need for Dean to be okay. Him and Sam are all I have left. If anything happened to either of them I..."John stopped unable to continue with that train of thought "Any way Dean usually listened if I asked him to do something I figured it was worth a try. He was a good kid."

Donna had heard the stories that had been passed around and part of the reason she was she was not as interested as the others was because she was wondering if some of them were embellished. All she heard was what a fighter and what a good kid he was. Dean sounded to good to be true. She thought of her own 3 boys. They weren't bad kids but she did have her share teenage problems with them.

"Im sure he was."

"Its just that Dean was forced to grow up fast after his mother died. He had alot of responsibilty forced on him at a young age. That was my fault. I relied on him so much and he did it without compliant. He seemed so mature for his age that it was easy to forget sometimes that he was just a kid."

"I understand, That can happen sometimes in single parent families." agreed Donna. She was thinking of her friend Beth. Beth's husband had run out on her and her two kids. Beth's daughter Alana had taken alot of extra responsiblility looking after her younger brother Andy. While she did a good job she had also grown up to quicky. Alana was defineltly not perfect and had ended up pregnant at 17. She was shaken out of her memories when John started talking again. Donna did not want to be appear rude but she really didn't want to hear another tale of perfect Dean Chesterwin, but she had no choice but to listen.

"I know that that makes Dean sound like a saint or something, he wasn't. He had a mouth on him that could make a drunken sailor blush at times. He was a smart alec as well. However the biggest problem that I had with Dean was reguards to school."

This was something new. Despite herself Donna was becoming intrigued.

"Dean had just started pre-school before the fire and did't seem to like it much. However after the fire he went from dislike to hate. At first I chalked it up to Dean not liking to leave his brother's side. He was extremely protective of Sam. However even after Sam started Dean's attitude still didn't improve. Every day he asked me if he could stay home. I t got to be when I went in to wake him I had to add and yes your going to school today. I can't tell you how many times I was called to the principals office because of Dean not doing his work or mouthing off to a teacher or even worse starting a fight. If I had a nickel for every time I heard one of his teachers say how smart Dean was and how good a student he would be if he just applied himself I'd be a rich man. Now Sam was the exact opposite he loved school from day one and was a straight A student."

"I can relate to that Mr. Chesterwin. My son Micheal was a terrific student. My middle son Steven didn't like school much either. He practically had to be bolted to his desk to make him do his homework. After we found out that he had a learning disability it got better. It took him longer to learn things and he said that he felt stupid. After he got help you would't believe the difference. Its what inspired him to become a teacher."

"You must have been so proud of him."

"Yes, all my boys turned out good. My oldest Alan is an electrician, and Michael, my youngest son is a doctor."

"My wife Mary was a teacher. Sam was in Stanford, he had a full scholarship, was going to law school. I was proud of him"

Sam had returned from the cafeteria and heard John tell the nurse about him going to college, he was suprised at the pride in his father's voice. He knew that Dean had mentioned that but it was different to acutally hear his father say the words. He stood were he was, he knew were this was going

"Did you say was."

"Yes Sam's girlfriend had ahh she had an accident and she died. Sam decided to take some time off.

Sam decided to stay outside he didnt want to chance Donna asking him questions about Jessica.

"Dean followed me into the family business."

Can I ask what that was, " said Donna. What was she doing she told herself she wasn't going to get involved.

"Sort of a bounty hunter/ private investigator we do a little of both. You said that your middle son was a teacher." answered John. He wanted to change the subject.

"Yes he works with special needs kids.

"I have a lot of respect for teachers, especially one. Her name was Holly King. She was Dean's home room teacher and English teacher, when he started high school. Like I said Dean did not like school and his grades were never great. He had a really rough time learning to read. The only reason he didnt have to repeat grade 8 was because of summer school and I won't even go into his reaction to that He was mostly a C student, with a rare B, usually in math and a few D's mostly English. That changed when Dean was in his first year of high school. His grades went from bad to worse. He went from C's to D's and D's to F's. If things didn't improve than not even summer school would have helped. He was going to have to repeat the ninth grade."

"Did he have to?"

"No and that was thanks to Ms King. Most teachers took one look at Dean and labeled him a troublemaker. Now Im not blaming the teacers because Dean was not exactly the best person to have as a student. He had an attitude toward school that he couldn't shake. However Ms King looked beyond that attitude. She also took a closer look at his school work and noticed that some things. Alot of his words were misspelled and mixed up. She noticed a pattern to the mistakes he was making."

"Sounds like dyslexia. Steven has that"

"That's what his teacher thought to. She brought it to the attetion of Dean's guidance councellor. He called me in, and they told me what they suspected. They wanted to refer Dean for some tests to see if that was the problem. In the end it was confirmed that Dean had a moderate form of dyslexia."

"It's unusal for it to be diagnosed so late."

"I know that. Its just my job required me to move around alot and the boys had to change schools and I guess he fell through the cracks. Also like I said most teachers felt that Dean just didnt try. If it wasn't for Holly King we probaby still wouldn't know. Given that it was late when he was diagnosed, he had to have extra tutoring. He had to spend his free period in the school's resouce room where they could monitor his homework and progress and he had one on one sessions three times a week after school. Let me tell you Dean was definelty not happy about it."

"Steven had extra councelling sessions and it made alll the difference."

"It made a difference in his grades that was for sure. I still remember how proud of him I was when brought me his first report card after he was diagnosed. He went from C' to B;s and there was even two A's. In Math and science. He pulled his grades up and passed the year."

"Once Steven got help and he started to really like school. He wanted to help others like he was helped."

"I wish I could say that, while Dean's grades improved his dislike of school did not. In fact it lead to the one time I had a real agrument with Dean. Two days after he turned 16 he came to me and asked me if he could drop out. I said no. Like I mentioned his mother was teacher and I knew that she would never forgive me if I let him. That's not the only reason, no Wi...Chesterwin has ever dropped out. I was not about to let Dean be the first. I made a deal with him. When he graduated I would give him my car, a 67 Chevy Impala. It was the first car and only car I ever had and Dean's wanted it ever since he could say the word car. If he hadn't followed me into the buisness I could have easily seen him become a mechanic"

"My oldest Alan he loves cars. He owns a 64 mustang. Im guessing that Dean graduated. It must have been hard for you to give up your car. I know how Alan feels about his."

"He he graduated all right and believe it or not it was with honors. However I had ended up giving him the car the year before."

"He did't go to college."

"No he was smart enough to but he didn't want it, he said that he wanted to work with me. Dean never did like school, him graduating with honors and me giving him the car early is another long story."

Donna found her self wanting to ask him to tell it. However at that moment Sam had entered the room. The coffee and food plates that he had brought from the cafeteria were starting to grow colds and his wrist was starting to ache. Donna heard him enter the room and she realized that she had to get back to work.

As she left she stared back at the small family. She realized that John and his boys reminded her alot of herself and her boys. She was proud of her family and she under stood that John was telling everyone about his because he was proud to.

A/N Hope you all liked this and that it didnt disappoint. As to why Dean, even though he hated school ended up graduating with honors, and as to why John gave him the car a year early you will all find that out in chapter 6. As always please read and review.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this

Chapter 6

Dr. Greg Marks, Dean's respitory therapist therapist came in to check on his patient breathing. It had been almost two week since the accident. Dean was still in a ventilator dependant coma. and he as showing no signs of coming out of it. Dr. Marks was becoming concerned that Dean might be developing tracheal stenosis. Which was a narrowing of the tracheal tube. One of the causes was long term use on a ventilator. Dean's temp was still holding at 101, and Dr. Marks was hoping his patient was not in the beginning stages of pneumonia. That was the last thing he needed,

"How's he doing?" asked John.

John was taking his turn sitting with Dean. Bobby had dragged Sam away from the hospital for some proper rest.

"No change I'm afraid. There is one thing that I wanted to talk to you about."

"What's that?" questioned John

Dr. Marks explained to to John about the complications of long term ventilator use. John had heard them when Dean was born and was ventialtor dependant for the first seven weeks of his life.

"One way to treat this is remove the endotracheal tube, and replace it with a tracheotomy. Thats when we put the ET tube in the base of his throat."

John just sighed. "Your lucky Dean didn't hear you say that. It wouldn't have gone over well. His reaction... well let me just say it would not have been pretty. Im familiar with trach's , Dean was 2 months premature. The doctors thought at the time he might need a long term trach. He proved them wrong When are you going to do this."

"Not right away, I just wanted to let you know that there was a possiblity that it could happen. Especially if he remains in the coma."

"Hopefully it won't be necessary."

Dr. Marks made the necessary notes on Dean charts. John turned back to his son and started to tell him about Bobby's repairs to the Impala. Dr. Marks was a classic car fan himself paused.

"Mr. Chesterwin. I heard you mention an Impala. Can I ask what year."

"A '67"

"Nice. You said that it was being repaired."

"Yeah, unfortuntnetly it was the car that we were in the accident with. They knew how to build them back then. If we were in one of those new cars they have today I don't any of us would have survived. My friend Bobby is fixing it for us. He's the best and it should look like new."

"Don't suppose you would be interested in selling it."

"Again Dr. Marks not something you want to mention in front of Dean. Its actually his car. My dad brought it for me when I gradudated high school. It was going to Dean's graduation gift."

"Did you say was?"

"Yeah, I gave it to him a year early. Believe me he earned it."

"Can I ask why?"

"When Dean was 17 and starting his junior year of high school he came to me and asked if he could get a part time job. He wanted to get his own car. He knew the Impala was his, after he graduated but he wanted to get something that would just get him around until then. I knew that it would be good for us to have a second car so I gave him permission. He got a job a couple of afternoons a week bagging groceries.

"About 2 months later I left him in charge of his brother for the weekend while I went hunting with a friend. I ah.. I ah fell and broke my leg badly in two places. I was layed up and I couldn't hu..work. What little money I had saved disappeared quickly. Dean gave me his savings. I felt so ashamed taking it but I had no choice. The rent was due and we needed to eat. Even that didn't last long. Little did I know that Dean had gone to his tutor, forged a note from me, and said that with me laid up need to take a break and help me at home with his brother. While I thought he was at his tutoring sessions, and his tutor thought he was at home, he was working every afternoon at the grocery store trying to earn more money."

"Its hard to image a 17 year old doing that."

"Dean wasn't your typical 17 year old. I don't know how I would have managed after I lost my wife without him, but as you probably know, a few afternoons a week at minimum wage job was not making ends meet. So he went and got a second job working backshift, stocking shelfs at a local hardware store. He would sneak out of the house and work from midnight until 6am. He would come home and grab a couple hours of sleep, get him and his brother off to school, then head out to his grocery store job until about 8. He would come home and get dinner, look after the house and do home work. Try to grab another hour of sleep and head out to the hardware store."

"He wouldn't be able to keep that up long."

"Yeah. I got a call from his school telling me that he had fainted and was taken to the hospital. I rushed there as fast as I could and that's when I found out what he had been doing. He was suffering from exhaustion. I was so proud of the way he tried to take care of us. I really even couldn't find it in me to be mad at him for faking the note to his tutor."

"That's when you gave him the car."

"Yes. He was in the hospital for 3 days and then the doctors wanted him at home for another week to get his strength back. I swallowed my pride and borrowed money from a friend. A couple of weeks later Dean asked me if he could get his job back. I said no. He didn't like it. Shortly after that I went and got my truck. It was one my friend Bobby had restored so it was cheap. Dean wanted to know why I bought it.

"I told Dean that I needed it to get around because the Impala had a new owner. I really should not have phrased it that way because poor Dean, thought I had sold it. The look on his face was one of disappointment and anger. I had to quickly tell him before he lynched me, that he was the new owner, and that he better look after it. The look on his face was one of pure happiness. It had been a long time since I seen him look like that."

"He must have been thrilled."

"He was about the car but not at what happened next."

"Do you mind me asking what it was?" There was no way Dr. Marks was going to let John stop there.

"Like you said most 17 year olds would not do what Dean did. One of the doctors at the hospital didn't believe that he would do it of his own free will. He called social services and said that I must have forced Dean to do it. They investigated. The social worker took a real dislike to me from the start and was determined to find some way to take my boys. She looked at my employment record and it was spotty. She said I couldn't support us and she wanted to put Sam and Dean into foster care. Thankfuly my friend Jefferson came through for me. He got me a job working in the motor pool at a school called Westcott Prepatory school. It is one of the top prep schools in the country. As an employee my boys could attend tuittion free. This got social services off my back for now but they were keeping an eye on things"

"I thought you mentioned you were a private investigator, bounty hunter."

"I am know but I was a mechanic. Im afraid that's another story for another day. Back to Dean. I was worried how Dean would fit in. He never liked school much and he really disliked people that looked down at our family because we didn't have much. It had potential to be a disaster. When I enrolled them the head master pretty much did evey thing but come right and say they didn't want Dean in his school. I was about to lose my job before I even started because I was about to let him have it for the was he treated Dean. Dean just told me it was not worth it. He knew that social services was nosing around and how important this was. Then he told me that there was going to be an advantage because of all the young girls who wanted to make Daddy mad by dating a guy from the wrong side of the tracks."

Dr. Marks chucked.

"Then I had to set him straight. It was an all boys school. It was the first time that I had ever seen him speechless. Then I had to tell him he had to wear a uniform. I wish I had a camera that day."

"Did he get along ok."

"Yeah he did. At first it was like I thought. Sam loved it there. He loved putting on his uniform. I dont know if it was because the kids were younger but Sam made lots of friends. He fit right in. The kids gave Dean a hard time. I was proud of him though. He kept himself out of trouble. Then something unexpected happened."

"What was that?" asked Greg.

"He made a friend. A boy named Grayson Herrington, or Gray as he liked to be called. He and Dean were assigned to do a history project together. By the end of it they really hit it off. Gray spent a lot of time at our place. It was strange, our whole house could have been put into the front porch of the Herrington's house but Gray liked to hang out at our place because he said that he felt like more of a home. It was kind of refreshing to see Dean acting like a normal teenager for a change. I just wished I had not encouraged it and there was an icident that might have been avoided." John paused recalling the ugly memory

Before Dr. Marks could prod him John continued.

"Dean and Gray got along great but Dean did not like Gray's other friends. There was this party that one of Gray's friends was throwing and they invited Dean. He did not want to go but I encourged him to. He only went because he knew that I wanted him to. At about 10:30 that night I get a knock on the door and there was Gray. He asked me if Dean was there. I said that he had gone to the party. Apparently Gray had been told that the party started at 10, Dean was told 9. Gray said that by the time he got there the party was in full swing and he had seen Dean's Impala tearing out of the drive way.

"Then he told me about something his group called a proper welcome, that they gave to kids who they felt 'didn't belong'. Its main purpose was to humiliate. They had wanted to do it to him when he first started but Gray would not let them. He geniunely liked Dean. That was why they wanted Gray there late. So he could not stop them. I had given Dean a midnight curfewa and at 11:59 I heard the Impala roll into the driveway. When he came in he tried to avoid me. I asked how it went. He said it was boring and he was going to bed. When he walked by me I got the distinct impression that he had been crying. I hadn't seen my son cry since he was four, after his mother passed. I let it go and asked it the next day. I said that Gray had stopped by."

"What did they do?" asked Dr. Marks.

"I don't know. It must have been pretty bad, because to this day he still won't tell me. If I ask he changes the subject. I thought that come Monday moring I was to have a battle on my hands at getting him to school. I was suprised when I got up and he was in his uniform and getting him and his brother ready. Kids were cruel to him all day. Being in the motor pool, I didn't have much contact with the students but Sam told me after school. Dean just ignored them. I was so proud of him that day."

"Kids can be cruel."

"I know whats worse is that it was awhile before Dean believed Gray, that he was not in on it. They eventually became friends again their friendship was never really the same. Dean was much more guarded. After that Dean was determined to prove somethng. He actually buckled down and applied himself and graduated with honors. The best way to get Dean to do something was to tell him he can't. Boy was that headmaster suprised. I was so proud of my boy."

"I can see why Mr. Chesterwin. I be back tomorrow. You can page me if you have any questions. Thanks for sharing."

Shortly after Dr. Marks left, Sam returned and John' s doctor threatened John with sedation if they didn't let him x-ray his leg to make sure it was healing properly. As John left Sam took his turn by Dean's side.

A/N Hope you liked. Please read and review. The next chapter will be all Sam.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this

A/N: When I first started this story it was just going to be John recalling Dean's life, but since this mostly Sam's story I decided to let him tell it. This starts right where chapter 6 left off.

Sam sat by Dean's beside watching his brother, It bothered him to see Dean so still, to see the vent breathing for his brother, and him hooked to all those tubes and wires. Sam remembered reading that people in coma could ofter hear so Sam never stopped talking to Dean.

"Hey Dean, you really need to wake up. I just told you every embarrassing thing that happened to me at college So wake up and start teasing me would you, You always told me that it was part of the big brother's code."

"Big sisters code to."

Sam was startled and looked up. He saw Dr. Lisa Brennan come through the door. Dr. Brennan was Dean's main doctor.

"Sorry didn't mean to startle you. I just came to check on my favourite patient."

"It's okay and you wouldn't be saying that if Dean was awake."

"Not the world's most cooperative patient is he."

"That's an understatement. You would probaby be threatening to put him back in a coma."

"Dean are you just going to lie there and take that."

"You said big sister's code, are you the big or little sister."

"Big sister, I used to love to tease Amanda."

"I'm sorry did you say used to."

"Yes we had a falling out, She met someone, I really did not like. I told her what I though of him and she told me to mind my own buisness, and that she was old enough to make her own decisions."

"That sound's familar. It was like that with me and Dean to."

"Your lucky to be close to your brother. I really miss Amanda."

"You should call or go see your sister, talk to her while you still can." As Sam said this Lisa noticed that he was completely focused on Dean.

"I want to," replied Lisa."

"Why do I hear a but in there?" asked Sam.

"Because there is one. I was right about this guy. He used to hit her. I was proud of Amanda when she got the courage to leave him. Its been almost 2 years since we spoke. I picked up the phone so many times but I can't find the words, everytime I try to think of what to say it seems that I's saying I told you so and I know that she would not like that. I'm guessing my sister thinks if she calls me that's exactly what shes going to hear. I'm sorry Sam, my problems are the last thing you need to hear."

"It' ok, believe me I know exactly how your feeling. Dean and I didn't talk for almost 4 years."

Lisa was shocked Sam seemed so close to his brother.

"Yeah. It's true. Dr. Brennan, Dean is the best big brother a guy could ask for, I just wish it hadn't take me so long to realize that."

"Tell me about him.?" asked Dr. Brennan. "Im mean if you want to." Lisa hoped that he would.

"My dad told me that Dean wanted a little brother. Dad told me how happy Dean was when they told him that he was going to be a big brother. Dad said right from the start Dean told mom she was having a boy. He even asked if he could name me, I'm glad they didn't let him."

"Why what name did he pick"

"Gargamel."

"Gargamel?" repeated Lisa trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

"Yeah he was a big fan of the smurfs. Dean's named after our father and I'm named after my grandfathters. Dad said after I was born Dean tried to take me in for show and tell. He was so insistent that he said mom got in touch with his teacher to get permission. He was always protective of me. Then there was the fire that took our mom."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to aologize, the night of the fire Dean carried out the front door, from that point on he appointed himself my protector, like it was his job, his responsibility to keep me safe. After the fire my father had hard time dealing with things. Dean looked after me. I never had a bully pick on me in school. There were a couple of times that kids tried but once they found out I was Dean Chesterwin's brother they were afraid to come near me. Dean made sure that I got up for school, and made sure my homework was done, he came to all my school fuctions and soccor games.

_"Where was your father." thought Lisa_

"Now I now that your probaby wondering what about Dad. He was there, I don't mean to make him sound like a bad father, he wasn't. I realize that know. He just didn't know how to handle the grief, he was also a single father trying to make ends met, he ah... he worked alot. Dean had to grow up to fast. He practically raised me.

"Dad and I had some battles when I was growing up. Because of our family businss we had to move around alot. We changed school's so many times. I was always the new kid and it was hard to make friends. If I made a friend we had to leave. I wanted a more normal life. I wanted to stay in one place for more than a year. I did not want to follow my dad and brother I wanted to go to school. I got into Stanford, full scholarship."

"Wow that's no easy task."

"Dean always used to tease me that he picked the wrong character to name me after, said he should have called me Brainy Smurf. I told Dean first and we got into an argument he didn't want me to leave. I told him I was old enough to make my own decisions."

"Is that what caused you two not to speak."

"No was acutually made up, but when I told Dad, he did not take it well when I told him I did not want to join the family business. We had a bad argument. We both said things we did not mean and I left. Dean always tried to mediate between me and Dad. This time though he was quiet. I thought he was siding with Dad and I got mad at him all over again. He tried to call me a few times but I refused to answer. I forgot that when Dean deals with things that upset him internally. He goes quiet. He was upset that his baby brother was leaving. I tried to call him a couple of times but he didn't answer. After we were talking I asked him why. He said he was afraid that I was calling to tell him to stop calling so he didn't answer. Eventually we both stopped trying.

"Can I ask how you repaired things."

"Dad and Dean are bounty hunters. They were working separate jobs and Dad disappeared when he was tracking the de... criminal. Dean came and got me, to help find Dad. When we got back...my girlfriend she was um she was murdered." Sam said in a rush. "I joined Dean on the road I wanted to find out who did this to her. We found dad, then we had the accident."

"Again Sam, I'm really sorry about your girlfriend." Lisa said as she took Dean's vitals. "Are you ready for some good news."

"Definetly."

"Dean's temperature is down to 99. It looks like there antibiotics are working."

"Good job. Keep fighting Vanity."

"Vanity?"

"Yeah when Dean called me brainy I would counter and call him Vanity smurf. You know know the one that was always looking in the mirror."

"Can I ask what if you had a nickname for your father."

"That would be Grumpy."

Lisa and Sam both chucked. To Sam it felt good.

"Dr. Brennan, about your sister dont worry to much about want to say. Say what's in your heart."

"Thanks Sam. I'll be back to check on Dean tomorrow .

At that moment the orderly wheeled John back in the room.

,"I better get going my shifted 15 minutes ago."

"Sorry for keeping you."

"No worries, Brainy, I let you share Vanity's good news with Grumpy here."

As Lisa left the room she could hear Sam telling his father that Dean's temperature had gone down and John asking Sam just what he had been telling people.

Lisa thought alot about the Sam and Dean on the way home and when she got there got went straight to the phone and dialed. She almost hung up when she heard Amanda pick up the phone and say hello, but then she remembered Sam's advice speak from the heart. She heard Amanda say hello again. She took a deep breath and answered.

"Hi Amanda, its Lisa."

A/N 2: I hope I didnt make it sound like Sam and Dean's not talking was all Sam's fault. If it does sound that way it was defintelty not my intention. Please read and review.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A/N:I know that I have been going in chronological order, but I had the idea for this chapter the other day and I decided to include it. Also this is a story that John shares exculsively with Sam. I figure Dean would be embarrrased if the story that John is about to tell got out.

Dean's coma was entering the third week. They were becoming increasingly worried that Dean was still showing no sign of waking. Because Dean was still in a deep coma, rather than risk him developing trachel stenosis, they had went ahead and performed the tracheotomy. John and Sam tried not to think about the tube that now rested at the base of Dean's throat. The one good thing that Sam and John clung to was the fact that Dean's temperature had gone completely back to normal and the doctors had removed one of his chest tubes.

John did not want Dean left by himself for long periods of time, and between himself, Bobby and Sam there was almost always someone with him. But unfornately there were there times that could not be avoided.

John and Sam were both sitting with him. John was amazed at how well he and Sam were getting along these days. He only hoped it would last. Unfortnately today was one of those days were there was no one to sit with Dean. John had an appointment with the physical therapist, and Bobby had an errand to run, he did have a business after all. Today he was expecting the parts he needed to begin to fix the Impala and he needed some at his house to recevie the delivery, so Bobby had loaned Sam one of his cars so he and John could spend the morning with Dean. John had tried to reschedule his appointment, but this was the only spot that she had open.

John had remembered something important, when he realized that there was no one to stay with Dean today. He had Bobby bring Dean's bag that he had rescued from the back of the impala. He was pretty sure that what he was looking for would be in there. As he and Sam were getting ready to head out he went to get what he was after when he heard Sam speak. He just wished he thought of it earlier.

"Dad?"

"Yeah Sam."

"Why did you want Dean's bag. It's just his clothes."

"No Sam there is somthing eles in there that I need."

John got the bag from the closet. He felt like he was violating Dean's privacy but he found what he was looking for buried in the bottom of the bag. Sam was shocked when John pulled out small teddy bear with angel wings. He stared dumbfounded as he watched John place it on the cornor of Dean's bed, up by his head.

"Dad, where did that come from, and how did you know it was there, and since when does Dean have a teddy bear.?"

"It's a long story Sam. Unfornately we both have to leave. I promise, this aftenoon, I'll tell you everything."

"You better."

Sam and John both left and Sam found the afternoon really long because he just wanted to find out about the bear.

THREE HOURS LATER

Sam, accepted the delivery and went back to the hospital. He found John, as always next to Dean's bed,

"OK Dad spill."

"Hello to you to Sam."

"Sorry hello now spill."

John paused for a moment, as if to collect his thoughts. Then he began.

"Sam you know your brother was premature right?"

"Yeah, you mentioned it a couple of times."

"The doctors told us he probaby wouldn't make it. Your moth...well your mother refuesd to believe that" John had to force down his emotions again. "She said that Dean was strong and was going to prove all those doctors wrong. She was right. Unfortunely it was not without complications. He had alot of problems with his breathing. He was sick alot, and the first two years he was in the hospital more than out of it and he knew what going to the hospital meant, tubes, needles, but even then he really didn't up to much of fuss, just as long as me or your mother were there. I was so proud of the way he faced that."

"Dad what what does this have to do with a stuffed animal."

"I'm getting there Sam. I'm just giving you some back ground info. I'm sure you noticed Sam that Dean likes for one of us to be with him whenever he in the hospital, he doesnt admit it but he hates being left alone."

"I always thought that was strange. I've seen him stare down demons, poltergiests, spirits without flinching yet staying overnight at a hospital freaks him out."

"There's a reason for that Sam, and its all my fault."

"What happened Dad."

" When Dean had to be hopitalized your mother made sure that one of us was with him. She had our friends Mike and Kathy stayed with him. About 2 months after the fire Dean developed a high fever. I brought him to the ER and given his medical history they decided to admit him as a precaution. At that time we had just moved out of Mike and Kathy's into our own apartment. I left you with Mike while I took your brother to the hospital. Back then, the hospital visitor rules were the same for children as they were for adults. Not like it is today where they have places for parents. Your mother simply refused to follow them. I shoudn't have but when they told me I had to leave I did it. I wish now that I hadn't. Dean had just started talking again and he begged me not to. He kept saying over and over Daddy dont go, mommy left, please dont go."

"Then why did you."

"They sedated him. I thought he would be ok, I really did Sam. Just another of the many mistakes that I made with your brother."

"But you went the next day right. Dad please tell me you didnt leave him in that hospital to go hunt."

"Sam, no I didn't go hunt. I hadn't even met Missouri then. But there was somthing that happened and it had nothing to do with hunting or the supernatural, but nature. There was a bad snowstorm that started that night and lasted for 3 days. It knocked out power and the phone. I had no way to get to Dean and no way to contact the hospital for a day and half. I managed to dig the car the second day but the roads were impassible. The the second day I got through to the hospital. I wanted to speak to Dean, but the nurse who answered the phone told me he was sleeping. I told them how important it was that they put him on. They said he needed the rest. I finally got the truth out of them. When I didnt show up the next day, Dean flipped they had to sedate him to keep him from hurting himself and. I felt horrible Sam. Finally on the third day I was able to get out."

"Dad that wasn't your fault, even you can't control the weather."

"I should have stayed Sam. I should have told that nurse to stick it when she told me to leave. I really thought I could go and make it back the next day before he woke up."

"What happened when you got there."

"Your brother was practically catatonic. They didn't have to sedate him the third day. He was just laying there with a blank stare. He didn't even acknowlege me when I got there. I asked the nurse what happened. She told me he kept asking where I was, he wanted to know why I left him , just like his mother left him. He said he was sorry if was bad and he would try to be good It broke my heart."

"What did you do.?"

"The only thing I could do Sam. I crawled into bed with him, held him in my arms and told him over and over again how sorry I was and how proud of him I was and how brave I thought he was, how much I need needed him and how much you needed him. I must have kept that up for about 2 hours then he finally came back to me. He said Daddy almost as if he was afraid to believe that I was real. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard in my life."

"I never knew that."

"It's not a moment I'm proud of Sam."

"It still doesn't explain the teddy bear."

"Fortunetly Dean remained out the hospital until he was seven and had to have his heart repaired. I saw that teddy bear in a store and it gave me an idea. Sam, Dean firmly believed that his mother was a guardian angel. I told him that his mother sent me the bear and that she would sit at the head of his bed and watch him when I couldn't be there. Then he knew that he wasn't alone. It worked. He didn't get upset when I had to leave. Even when he was 13 and in the hospital with that punctured lung I made sure that bear was there."

"How come I never knew."

"Dean didn't want you to know . He was embarrased to admit that he didn't like to be in the hospital alone. Dont you remember me always sending me out of the room first."

Sam thought back. "Now that you mention it I do."

"There was also one time, after you left for school. Dean was inujured on a hunt, a concussion the doctors kept him for a couple of days for observation, the bear stayed with him then. I also made sure to slip it into his bag when he went on his first solo hunt. "

"How did you know that it would be in his bag now.

"Just a hunch. Sam do me a favor."

"Don't mention to Dean that you told me this."

"Yes."

"I won't Dad. I promise. Do you think it would work this time."

"What would work?" asked John.

"You said holding and talking to with him brought him out of a catatonic state, do you think it could bring him out of the coma."

"Oh my god Sam I'm such an idiot. Why didn't I think of this before. Sam stay with Dean. I have something I need to do."

John jumped up and headed out the door as fast as his crutches would carry him.

"Dad what's going on?" called out Sam, but his father never heard him.

John got to a pay phone and called Bobby.

"Bobby I dont mean to press my luck but I need a favor."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

A/N: Starts where chapter 8 left off. This chapter contains a slight spoiler from In My Time of Dying.

Sam sat in Dean's room waiting for his dad to get back. He wanted to know what caused his father to bolt out of here so fast. He was relieved when he saw John come back through the door.

"Dad what's going on?"

"I just realized something. There's only one person left in this hospital that I haven't told how proud of Dean I am."

"Whose that, the back shift cafeteria lady?"

"No Sam, Dean."

"Then why did you run out of here like a bat out of hell. Why not just tell him, he's lying right there, and he can't even protest the chick flick moment."

"I can't just say the words Sam, the last time I did he knew I was possessed."

"Good point. What are you going to do."

"I had to call Bobby. I need him to bring me something. I have a box that is filled with things that I saved from you boys over the years. I want to share it with Dean. I have to show him I'm proud, not just say the words."

"Do you think it will work?"

"I hope so Sam."

An hour later Bobby came in carrying a medium sized wooden box. He said that he had started with repairs to the Impala and made sure to tell Dean that it would be good as new. He knew that John wanted to be with Dean so he said he would be back in about an hour and give John a break.

"Hey Bobby wait up, I'll join you, I could use a cup of coffee."

"Sam you can stay if you want."

"I know Dad, but you need this time with Dean, I'll be back later."

"Thanks Sam."

As Sam and Bobby left John walked over to the bed and careful not to dislodge any tubes and sat on the edge. He put the box on the beside table.

"Hey Dean. I know that your in there somewhere son. I know you can hear me. There is somethings I need to say to you."

John reached over and opened his box. He pulled out a newpaper clipping.

"Your mother and I always knew that we wanted to have kids. I was the proudest man on earth the day Mary told me she was pregnant. Here's the announcement your mother wrote It says January 24, 1979. John and Mary Winchester are proud to announce the birth of their son Jonathan Dean Winchester Jr. Dean weighed in at 3 pounds 4ounces. Grandparents are Samuel and Erin Winchester and Francis and Margaret Jackson.

John then pulled out an envelope, in it was what looked like several hospital bracelets. The first on John pulled out it was so small that it would have fit as a ring on John's pinky finger.

"Dean this was the bracelet that the hospital put on you the day you born. You were so tiny. You didn't even weigh four pounds. The doctors said you weren't gonna survive. They said that you werent going to make it through the night. I was never more scared in my life. Your mother though, she told me you were going to be just fine. She was right as usual. I was so proud of you that day Dean, you faced insurmountable odds and came out on top. You were in the hospital for over 2 months before the doctors would let up bring you home. You were home for about a week and a half before we had to bring you back to the hospital. Your temperature was up and you had trouble breathing this is your bracelet from that time. This enevelope contains every hospital bracelet up until you were 3. I was proud of the way you handed each and every visit. You had to have needles and painful tests, but you just took what ever came."

John put the envelope back in his box and next he pulled out two brightly colored peaces of paper.

"Dean these are the inviations you made for me and your mother, on that first mother's day after the fire. I was so proud of you son, the way you handled that. You did such a good job telling everyone about your mom that day. She would have been proud to Dean and you were right your mom was there that day and I'm glad you invited me.

Next John pulled 2 more hospital bracelets

"This first one was from when you were seven. Dean have to be the bravest kid I know. The way you faced open open heart surgury., I was so proud of you that day. This next one is the one from when you saved my life,

From there John pulled out a guitar pick,

"You always looked after me and Sam and you never asked for a thing. I was glad to be able to do something for you. I knew how much you wanted a guitar. You were pretty good too. Then the way you gave up your prized possession for your brother made me so proud."

Next John pulled out a stack of Dean's report cards.

"Dean I know that you probably wondered why even though I never insisted that you get terrific grades, that I made you attend all those extra tudoring sessions. The main reason is I hated seeing you struggle. I remember when you started high school. I know that you were starting to think of yourself as stupid. I will always be thankful to Holly King. She saw your potential and did something about it. I know how much you did not want to stay after school but like everything eles life threw at you, you did it. This is your first report card after we found out you had dyslexia. There was already an improvement. This is the second one. You received two A's Dean. I was so proud of the way you pulled your grades up, and kept them up. Dean this is your final report card when you graduated, with honors, from one of the top prep school in the country. I was such a proud father that day.

"Dean, I also know how much you struggled at that prep school. You knew that CPS was hanging around. You made sure to stay out trouble. You didn' t even really complain when you couldn't hunt. Heres a picture of you and Gray. He was a good guy Dean. It was nice to see you hang out with someone your own age. I wish I had not encouraged you to go that party. I know how hard it was for you to trust Gray after that. It was only one of two times in your life you disobeyed a direct order when I ordered you to tell me what happened. _The first being the strigha inicident but John was NOT about to go there. _"I still would like to know what happened that night Dean, but I will respect your wish not to talk about it so don't worry I won't ask. Whatever it was Monday moring you held you head up high and walked into that school. Sam told me the kids were cruel to you all day. I will admit Dean I fully expected to get a call that day from the headmaster that you got into fight. I was so proud of the way you handled yourself that day. I owe you an apology, I never got that call Dean. Then lets not forget the reason you and Sam were attending that school in the first place."

John replaced the picture of Dean and Gray in his box. He then pulled out two pay stubs and yet another hospital bracelet.

"You always took care of me and Sammy Dean. When I broke my leg that time hunting with Caleb the way you stepped up was amazing. You worked two jobs and went to school. When I got the call that you were in the hospital I thought someone terrible happened to you. When I found out what you had been up to I realized just the kind of person you were Dean. I also have your hospital bracelet from that time to."

Next John pulled out a letter

"This is the letter from Stanford. I know that this was a difficult time for you son. Me and Sam we tore into each other. We put you in the middle. We each took your silence as agreeing with the other. Me and Sam put you in the middle alot Dean, but you always tried to keep the peace between us. Even know, your doing that. Me and Sam have been getting along pretty good."

Know John was getting to the most painful thing. What he said to Dean when he was possesed by the Demon. It had taken Dean's biggest fear and used it against him. John needed to make Dean hear him.

"Dean I really need you to listen to this son. What happened at the cabin. I am so sorry Dean. I was NEVER angry. You used that bullet to save your brother's life. How could I get angry about that. You do watch out for this family Dean. You hold us together. There was this one time that we were at Jefferson's. You were 16 I was coming back in from a hunt and overheard you boys and Jefferson talking about heros. Jefferson said his hero was his fahter. . Sam told you that you were his hero. Then you filled my heart with pride when you said that your father was your hero as well. If you asked me do you know who I would have said my hero was. You Dean, your my hero. The way whenever I came home wrecked from a hunt you were right there to put your hand on my shoulder and say its ok Dad. Im so sorry Dean I should have been saying that to you. I put to much on your shoulders. Made you grow up to fast. You looked after me and you looked after Sammy. You did that and you never complained not once. I am so proud of everything you've done in your life. More importantly I am so proud of you Dean period. We need you, please son come back to me, come back to us.

John out Sam's acceptance letter bank in his box. Then he looked up and saw the most beautiful thing he ever saw in his life, Dean's green eyes.

Hoped you liked and that you didnt find the chapter to repetitive. Please read and review.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A/N Sam learns more about his brother.

Then he looked up and saw the most beautiful thing he ever saw in his life, Dean's green eyes.

John reached for the nurses call button and fortunately, or rather unfortunely, John had enough experience with Dean waking up, on a ventilator to know what was coming next. As if on cue Dean' s arm started toward the tube, and he started trying to fight the machine. John grabbed Dean's arms and did what he always did. He started talking.

"Dean its ok son. Im here. Don't fight it ok. Just relax I've got you Dean."

The last thing Dean remebered was being in the car. He remebered the sound of the truck hitting it. Were his father and brother okay? Dean could hear his fathers words, however something wasn't right. He knew that he had to be on a vent, he could feel the air bring forced in out of his lungs. But he couldn't feel the tube in his down his throat like the other time. He knew there was something stuck in his throat and he didn't like it one bit. He wanted it gone. He contiuned to fight his fathers hold. Which of course made him choke harder.

"Dean it's all right, calm down son." John looked at Dean and he saw emotions he was not used to seeing on Dean, confusion and fear. Then John made the connection.

"Dean, yes your on a vent, son. However there was a complication and the doctors had to perform a tracheotomy. Thats when they put the tube at the base of your throat. That's what your feeling son. It's ok Dean. Just relax and listen to my voice. Stop fighting."

Once again Dean heard his father's words. John could see him start to visably relax at his explantion. Plus Dean's brain started to make the connection that if his father was talking to him he was ok. Then were was Sam. Oh God Sammy had to be okay.

Dean looked around the room. Sammy wasnt there. Once again he started to panic.

John was relieved when he saw Dean start to relax. He relief was short lived however. He saw Dean glance around the room and the panic, frightened look came back to his eyes. John knew immediately what this was and once again he tried to reassure Dean.

"Sam's ok Dean he's fine. He was lucky. A broken wrist and some cuts and bruses. I promise you Sam is FINE. He's hardly left your side. He and Bobby just went to grab coffee. He should be back shortly. Me and Sam are both good."

John was not making much progress. Dean was contuining to fight him. In his panic over Sam he wasn't hearing John's words.

As much as John did not want to do what he was about to he felt he had to because when all else fails...

"Dean calm down and lie still. Your going to hurt yourself. Dammit Dean that's an order!." John said in his best drill sargent voice.

Dean heard those three little words and it worked. Dean stilled and glanced at his father. John could still the fear in Dean's eyes but at least he wasn't fighting.

"Dean look at me. Sam's just fine. I promise Dean I would NOT lie to you about that. He and Bobby are in the cafeteria."

John kept reasurring Dean and reached over to press the call button again. Where were those damm doctors.

Nurses Station

Dr. Lisa Brennan and nurse Susan Taylor were at the nurses station.

"I talked to Amanda for over 2 hours the other night. We had a really good talk. We are getting together this weekend."

"That's great Lisa." said Susan. "What finally gave you the courage to call her."

"Sam Chesterwin. He told me about a time when he and his brother weren't speaking. He said they made up. Right now Sam would give anything to speak to his brother and he may not be able to. My sister's right there."

"I'm glad you were able to start working things out."

"Me to" agreed Lisa. "I'm lucky. I'm just wondering how to tell the family that it's starting to look like a matter of if Dean comes out of the coma, not when."

"It's to bad, a young guy like that."

Susan heard the buzz of the patient board. She frowned.

"That's Dean's room." Both Susan and Lisa got up. As soon as they did they heard the alarm from one of Dean's monitor's. Then they heard the call button buzz again. They took off running. They were both shocked by what they saw.

John had his hands on Dean's and he was talking to him. They also saw that their patient did in fact have a set of beautiful green eyes. They couldn't believe that Dean was awake.

"Mr. Chesterwin."

"Hi doctor Brennan. Dean decided to wake up."

Lisa walked up and did a quick assessment of Dean. She looked at Susan and ordered some tests. Susan left to go make arrangements. She noticed that Dean kept looking toward the door. She saw his eyes light up. Sam and Bobby walked through the door. Sam was worried when he saw the doctor.

"Dad is Dean ok."

Sam almost passed out from relief when Dean gave him a thumbs up.

"Sam come stay with your brother for moment. I need to talk to Dr. Brennan."

Lisa watched as she Sam walked toward the bed. She watched as John transfer his hold on Dean's hands to Sam.

"You got him Sam."

"Yeah dad."

"Dean I have to talk to your doctor. I'm just going over there. I'm not leaving Dean. I promise."

John walked over to the cornor of the room and Dr. Brennan followed him.

"How is he Doc.

"He seems ok. I'm superised he's awake. It was starting to look as if he might be in the coma long term."

"That's my boy. Never does what anyone expects him to. Any chance if you removing the ventilator."

"Thats what the tests I ordered are for. I want to get a CAT scan of his lungs. I'll consult with Dean's respitory therapist before making the decision. Although I have to tell you that my initial assesement is to leave it in."

Lisa didn't miss John flinch.

"Is something wrong. I noticed how you never let go of Dean's hands."

"I remember the time when he was 7 and had heart surgury and the time he was 13 when he had the punctured lung. I hate to tell you this because as much as Dean hates being on a vent, he hates restraints more. The doctors had to use them because whenever he wakes up he tries to remove the tube. I had his hands now because I know hes confused. He's fine once he's fully awake and aware."

"I'll make a note on his chart. Thank you for your honsty. I know that had to be hard."

"Just make sure to also note to remove the restraints once Dean is awake."

John headed back to Dean's bed and took one of his hands from Sam.

Both continued to sit with him, until overcome by exhaustion he drifted back to sleep. Susan and an orderly came back and they gave Dean some medication that would keep him asleep for the next few hours while they did some tests. The said the tests would take a couple of hours and this would be a great time if they wanted to grab something to eat.

"John, take Sam and you two get out of here for a couple hours. Go get something to eat a real resturant, not that cafeteria stuff. I'll stay to you get back."

"Thanks Bobby. I'd rather stay here. I want to be hear when Dean gets back. You and Dad can go if you want." said Sam.

"Sam was there any part of that that sounded like a suggestion." replied Bobby.

"Really Bobby. I want to be here when Dean gets back."

"Sam," said John. "Dean's going to be at least an hour and the doctors said he would probaby be asleep for few hours. I could use something to eat."

"You and Bobby can go. I'll stay here."

"Sam I got the shot gun in the car and you know I'm not afraid to use it." said Bobby.

"You know what I am kind of hungry."

Bobby gave Sam the keys and told them to make sure that they went to a real restuarant. He said he had spies in the cafeteria and he would know if they did't follow her orders.

Sam and John knew they were beat and they got in Bobby's car. They drove to a Boston Pizza that was located a few miles from the hospital. They were seated and gave the order to the waitress.

"Sam thank you"

"What for Dad."

"For your idea. Telling Dean how much I needed him worked like a charm. I just wish I told you before."

"I'm glad it worked. But Dad you get credit to. Whatever you said got throught to him. Are you sure we shouldn't go back what if Dean needs something."

"Dean will be fine Sam. Bobby's there. He'll take care of Dean if he needs something."

"You know how he reacts to vent's Dad. We should be there."

"Sam stop worrying. Bobby can handle it. He helped me get Dean throught that heart surgury, dont your remeber."

"I was 3. I remember we were staying at Bobby's"

"Bobby's always had a soft spot for your brother Sam."

"How did you guys meet anyway"

"Through Pastor Jim. After talking to Missouri she put me in touch with Pastor Jim. He taught me alot about different supernatural creatures. He put me in touch with Bobby when it came time for me to learn about Demon's. We stayed with Bobby. Dean was almost 7. Bobby was teaching me about demons and exorcisms and he was continuing the Latin lessons that Pastor Jim started. From the moment they met Dean and Bobby seemed to hit it off. Your brother loved to follow Bobby into his salvage yard. He always did like cars. Dean also loved to come to the garage with me before..." John trailed off.

"Anyway" John continued. "I tried to get Dean to study with me. There was also one time I ordered him to stay and study with me. That was the first time Bobby threatened me with the shot gun. One of many times that happened. This is before we knew that he had dyslexia. He had a hard time learning to read English. Latin was a nightmare for him. Although he really learned fast when it came to cars. It was good to see him excited about something. He finally started to resemble the Dean I knew before. You on the other hand, you loved to sit there with me, and you would go through the books with me. You ask me question about everything. Both you and your brother liked to know how things worked. While you were more content to read it in a book, Dean was alot more hands on. Lets just sat that Bobby really regretted teaching him to use a screw driver. Nothing was safe. He got to be really good at putting things together."

"Yeah I know what you mean. The rock salt bullets were his idea weren' they."

"Yeah, pure genius. I wish I thought of it. Did he show you his homemade EMF dector. That was a thing of beauty."

"He did show me, when we were working that phantom traveler case. I wish I hadn't made fun of it."

"You did want."

"Ok be both have moments we are not proud of when it comes to Dean. It saved the day. We were able to scan the plane, people thought that Dean was just listening to a walkman because no one questioned us."

"Im still amazed that he got on that plane. He did it once for me to. I got a lead on a were wolf and we only had 2 days to get clear across the country. I suggested we fly. Dean did not want to get on that plane but he did it. It took me a long time to realize that there is nothing your brother wouldn't do for me or you."

"Do you know why Dean is afraid to fly. That shocked the hell out of me."

"I have a theory. I think its more what flying represents. My old partner called social services on me. I couldn't lose you boys so I took off with you two. Nothing but a few toys and clothes and the Impala. One of Missouri's contacts was only one state over. That's when I first met Caleb. He gave us shelter for a few days. I had to get out there. I was so afraid CPS would catch up with us. I got on a plane to Pastor Jim's. Caleb said that he would deliver the Impala. Dean kept asking to go home. He wanted to be near his mother. So my guess is he associates flying with taking away everything he was familiar with. After we got to Pastor Jim's anything some one mentioned flying he would get upset. There's also the fact that Dean hates being out of control and on a plane he has no control. That's also my reason for why he hates hospitals, and being attached to medical equipment so much. It takes away his control. And in his mind being out of control means he can't do his job and look after us."

"Dad can I ask you something."

"Sure Sammy."

"You said Bobby used to threaten you with a shot gun on a regurlar basis. When we got to Bobby's after Meg got you, Dean said he wasn't sure if we should have gone to him because you threatened to shoot him. Shouldn't he have been used to it."

"That time was a little different. That was the only time Bobby actually picked up the gun, pointed it at me and cocked it. I can't say I blame him."

"What happened Dad."

John looked away.

"Dad tell me."

"Again Sam its not something I proud of. It was shortly after you left for school. I was so angry and I took out that an anger on the one person I know would take it."

"Dean" said Sam it wasn't a question. "What did you do?"

"I said alot of things I wish I could take back. I accused him of babying you to much. I pretty much said it was his fault you left. Bobby, Caleb, Pastor Jim, they all tried to tell what I was doing to him. One time we were at Bobby's and were battling a fear demon. It didn't go well. It got to Dean and illustrated every fear he had. I had to get him out of there. I was in a really bad mood and I was looking a for a fight. I won't go into all the nasty details about what I said to him that night. But basically I accused him of being weak and pathetic. Dean just stood there. The expression on his face broke my heart. It's what stopped me cold. He just turned and left the house, walked out. I tried to follow but Bobby wouldn't let me. I wanted to apologize Sam. Thats when Bobby picked up the shot gun and told me to get out. I said I would get Dean and we would go.

"Bobby wouldn't let me take him. He said that Dean was staying with him for the next little bit and if I so much as set foot on his property he was going to have me arrested."

John stopped and looked at Sam.

"Sam you don't have to say anything. I agree with whatever your thinking. I don't blame Bobby I hurt your brother bad that night. I left. Bobby won't give details but he was responsible for putting your brother back together. Dean called me few days later and said we had to give that Fear Demon another try. He got rid of it. I was so proud of him.

"I guess we both took Dean for granted. But no more right Dad."

"Yeah. You don't hate me."

"No Dad. I would be a hypocrite. I called him pathtic too once. And at least you didn't shoot him."

"Excuse me."

"Yeah after the we took that Asylum job. Its along story. Can I tell you on the way back to the hospital. I really want to get back and see Dean."

"Sure I want to get back as well."

John paid the bill and he and Sam headed out door, back to the hospital and back to Dean.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this.

A/N: It's John's turn to learn about Dean.

John and Sam headed back to the car. John was anxious to hear what Sam had to say.

"Sam what could possibly happen that you would shoot your brother and why didn't I hear about it. Joshua was monitoring all the hospitals for our aliases. I would have known if Dean was admitted with a gun shot."

"We never went to the hospital."

"Sam you know gunshots are nothing to fool around with."

"Dad give me a chance ok. It wasn't a bullet I shot him with. It was the rock salt gun."

"Still Sam you should have brought your brother to the hospital. I've seen what that stuff can do."

"I tried Dad, you know Dean. he wouldn't go"

"Im just glad he wasn't seriously hurt."

"Its not like you would have showed up even if he was." It slipped out before Sam could stop it. He was starting to get defensive.

"EXCUSE ME. You know Damm well you and your brother are important to me."

"So important that you couldn't even bother to call your DYING son."

"Sammy..."

"Don't Sammy me dad. Dean was dying. He tried to pretend it didn't matter but do you know how much it hurt him that you didn't even bother to call back."

"I couldn't call Sam..."

"It was't safe. It was safe for you to send coordinates, how unsafe could it have been for you even to text I'm glad your ok."

"Sam"

Sam was on a roll. He was not about to let John get a word in. All the resentment and worry that Sam had built up was now coming out and there was no stopping it.

"And what about Lawrence Dad. You know how hard it was for him to go back there. He told me he called you and asked you for help. Again nothing. Dad he was this close to falling apart out there. And lets not forget just before the accident. Dean was bleeding to death in the back seat and the only thing you cared about was that I didnt shoot you. "

"Sam." John tried again.

"Dad do you know what your death would have done to Dean. And I could never have lived with my self I I killed you."

"Your right Sam."

That brought Sam's tirade to a halt.

"Sam, I've made alot of mistakes. But I never stopped caring about you or your brother. When Dean was electrocuted I was worried sick. Sam, you have to promise me you will never reveal this to your brother but I was the one who had Joshua call you about that faith healer. I was in Nebraska, with a lead on the Demon. I know what was going on but I couldn't let Dean die. As for Lawerence Sam I was there. I was at Missouri's but made her promise not to tell you boys I was there. If I thought for one second that Dean couldn't handle himself or was about to break I would have stopped it Sam. I know you don't believe me but its the truth. As for the car, I have no explanation except that sometimes I get so consumed by revenge I forget what's important. Sam almost losing you boys. made me realize that. Please Sam can we not fight when we get to the hospital. Us being at each other's throats is the last thing Dean needs. "

Sam was dumbfounded.

"You knew that there was a reaper and you sent us anyway. Do you know how bad Dean felt when he found out that guy died in his place."

"Yeah Sam, but I couldn't lose Dean. Can you honestly say that you wouldn't have made the same choice."

"No."

"Truce Sam, please we can't do this in front of Dean."

"Just might put him back in the coma. Yeah Dad truce."

"Will you tell me what happened. I'd like to know"

"As I said it was the asylum job. The patients there rioted against the head doctor. He was doing some pretty bad things to them. The doctor's spirit was continuing the work. He was trying to get the patients to vent their anger, whatever he was doing was was causing them to become so angry they became homicidal. That's what the deaths were. Anyway there were these 2 kids there. They thought it would be cool to see some ghosts. Me and Dean ended up having to split up to find them. My cell rang. I thought that it was Dean. It wasn't and the doc got to me. I pointed the rock salt gun at Dean and fired. Then like you I said some things I should not have. I told Dean that he was pathetic and had no mind of own. He handed me a pistol and asked me if hated him. I couldn't control it Dad. I pulled the trigger, 4 times. Dean must of known something was up because the gun wasn't loaded. He used it to distract me. Then knocked me out and burned the bones. I apologized but I still hurt him badly."

"We both have Sam."

John and Sam drove in scilence for awhile.

"Hey Dad, theres something I want to ask you."

"What's that Sam."

"What did you have in that box? What did you say to get Dean to wake up?"

"Just a few keep sakes, like your birth announcements. Your hospital bracelets from when you to were born. Stuff like that. "

Sam listened as John recounted all the things he had in his box and all the memories that John had of Dean

"I never knew that story about the mother's day inviations. I would never have thought to do that."

"Your brother never ceases to amaze me."

"Me to dad. I'm suprised you didn't keep his award from when he won that science fair."

"Um Sam...What science fair."

"Dean never told you."

"Told me what, Sam what are you talking about. SInce when was Dean actually into school enough to enter a science fair. He had to practically be bolted down to do his homework"

"When me and Dean were at Westcott. Dean's project won the school science fair. The regionals were being held at our school that year and his project won that to. He could have gone on to the state but he told the teacher he couldn't make it. Apparently his teacher was really disappointed. He said he felt that Dean's project would have done really well. Thought that it had the potentional to make it to the nationals."

"How did you know this Sam."

"I was there when he told. um Mr. Adam's if I remember correctly. Don't you remember that fight we had. I got really mad at you. I thought that the real reason that Dean turned the trip down was because you wouldn't let him go. I think I accused you of treating Dean like a servant and why couldn't you let him live his own life."

John racked his memory. He vagely recalled the fight but he had thought that Sam was talking about John all but ordering Dean to go to that party were some kids played a cruel trick on him.

"Yeah but I thought that you were refering to me practically ordering Dean to go to that party. Dean never once mentioned that he entered a science fair."

"Well after that night he didn't know if he could trust Gray. He couldn't hunt with social services on top of us, and you were home more than ever. He just started to concentrate on his school work. Gave him somthing to focus on. "

"What was it on."

"It was about car engines or something. I didn't really understand it when Dean tried to explain it to me. I mean dad you know me and cars. Not exactly my area of expertise so I tuned him out.

"Im not suprised. Math and science were always your brother's strong points at school. Even before we found out that he had dyslexia. Your brother always had a thing about cars. "

"Yeah. Dean used to help me with my math. I really had to pay attention in that subject. It just seemed to come so naturally to him. Do you remember Carter Atwood, Tyler Benson, and Jared Summers. "

"I think they were Gray's friends, weren't they. and the ones who invited Dean to that party. "

"Yeah, thats them. They were the most popular kids in school Carter was the quaterback, Jared was the running back and I think Tyler was a linebacker. Also the snobbiest to. They all treated Dean like crap. Like he wasn't fit to be in the same room as them just because were weren't rich. You know how you said that after Dean sold his guitar it made you realize exactly the type of person that he was."

"Yeah" said John wondering exactly what Sam was getting at.

"Well I had my moment like that. I realized just how awesome my big brother is. Our school won the National high school football championships that year. Carter was named the MVP. Recevied a full scholarship to Notre Dame University. Tyler and Jared went to play college football to.

"Sam what does all this have to do with Dean."

"I'm getting there. If you ask me Dean should have been the MVP that year."

"Dean wasn't even on the football team. Besides if I recall correctly your brother was a much bigger baseball fan anyway."

"I know that Dad let me finsh ok. If it weren't for Dean, Carter would not have been on that team either, and neither would Tyler or Jared. No fame, no scholarships, no nothing."

"Sam you got me really confused now. What did Dean do."

"The big three were flunking math. They didn't meet the academic requirements to play. They were going to be suspended from athletics until they got there grades up. There was this big game coming up. If we won we were on our way to the playoffs, lose and the season was over. Without the star trio we had no shot at winning. The math teacher, Mr. Jeter was not one to let atheletes slide, like a lot of the other teachers did. He expected them to pull their weight. There was a big exam coming up and if they failed, they couldn't play. Mr. Jeter said that they had one shot at playing. If they were willing to take some tutoring. Mr. Jeter, was the faculty advisor to the math club and he didn't have time to work with them. He said that he would ask his best student because if there was anybody who could get them ready for the exam if was him. That was Dean dad. Did you know he had the highest Math grades in the whole school." said Sam with pride.

"How do you know all his Sam." He was amazed. This was the first he heard of this.

"Gray told me. Anyway These are the guys that humilated, and embarrassed Dean in front of almost all his classmates. Guys who treated Dean like he was something that they wiped off the bottom of their shoes, called him stupid because he worked with a tutor. kind of ironic that they want him to tutor them in Math. If it was me dad I would have told them exactly what they could do with that suggestion." said Sam bitterly.

"I would have done the same thing, but Dean didn't did he. He actually helped them."

"Yeah, he worked with them. They all passed. If they hadn't we would have missed the playoffs, and those scouts at the playoffs wouldn't have even had a chance to see them play."

"Thank you for telling me that Sam. I guess there's alot I dont know about your brother.

Sam and John pulled into the hospital parking lot.

" Before we go in can I ask you something. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"What dad.?"

"Do you know what happened to Dean at that party?"

"Yeah, it was all over school there was no way I couldn't find out. "

"WIll you tell me Sam. If you don't want to I will understand. Dean still won't."

Sam seemed to be thinking it over.

"You have to swear to me that you will never tell Dean that I told you or let on in anyway that you know."

"I promise Sam."

"First they told Dean that the party was formal. Suit and tie required. When he showed up everyone else was wearing t-shits and jean. You know Dean dad, always ready for anything. He went to the car, got his unsual, outfit and went to the bathroom and changed. He told me that he felt something was off and that he should have left but Tyler told him that it was a usual thing they did to all new students and no hard feelings. Then he told Dean that Gray was running late and wouldn't be there unitl 10 because he was picking up some things that they would need later that night. With Dean the practical joke they planned wouldn't have worked. They were planning on holding a fake seance later that night to communicate with some student that killed himself. They were going to have someone dress up and be a ghost and try to scare Dean.

"Your joking right?"

"No. You me, and Dean we know that you don't mess around with that stuff, even as a joke. You just don't know what could happen. Remember that job you and Dean did when he was 16."

"Yeah, I do," said John. "A bunch of college kids thought that it would be cool to see to impress their girlfriend by pretending to conjure a demon. Imagine their suprise when it worked. Two of them ended up dead before we could bind it and exorcise it. It was the first time Dean faced a demon."

"You know Dean, he was not about to let them even try it. He said he wanted no part of it. They used that to their advantage and made it seem that Dean was the biggest wuss on the planet, scared of a little old ghost. If they only knew the truth, and of course he couldn't explain it. Called him all kinds of names, told him what a baby he was and a spoil sport. All the kids at school called him that to."

"Why wouldn't Dean tell me that Sam. I would have been proud of him for stopping it. Your right you don't play around with that stuff."

"It's what this one kid Ben said to him. Ben was the brother of my friends. Connor told me what he said, and this is a direct quote 'With such a wimp for a son its no wonder your mom left. I don't know why your father and brother would want you around. They don't need a coward like you.' Dad this guy couldn't have picked a worse thing to say. I guess that's when Dean left. That's what he didn't want to hear. Not being able to look after us is one of Dean's biggest fears.

John looked at his father and was suprised to see tears in his fathers eyes. "Sam thank you for telling me. I understand now why he didn't. Let's get up and see your brother Sam. You know I'm lucky, a man couldn't ask for two finer sons.

Sam and John exited the car. As they got up to Dean's room they saw his doctor exiting the room.

"Hi Dr. Brennan, how's Dean?" asked John "Did he wake up. We didn't mean to be gone so long."

"He was awake briefly, after he got back to his room. Your friend Bobby was there so he was ok."

"What did the test's say?" asked Sam.

"Pretty much what we expected. His lungs are still extremely weak. So after talking with Dr. Marks we are going to leave the ventilor in place for the next 72 hours and then re-evaluate. Dean didn't much like that news. However I told him that leaving the tube in place will help his lungs get stonger faster which would translate into an over all shorter hospital stay. He liked that part. That being said though, Dean still has a long recovery ahead of him."

"Thanks Doc."

"No problem. I'll be back to check on him later. Any problems just buzz. Donna's on tonight.

John and Sam walked into the room. Bobby was sitting by Dean's bed. Shortly after Dean woke up and Bobby continued telling Dean about the Impala and they carried on a conversation about other light topics. . Later they noticed that Dean's eyes were drooping Bobby decided it was time to leave. He said that both Sam and John looked like they were dead on their feet and they should both come back to his place for a proper night's rest. He would bring them back first thing in the morning.

Bobby said he was going to grab coffee and meet them in the car in about a half hour and they had better be there or else. A little while after Bobby left Dean fell back to sleep. John went to get Dean's bear out of the bag since he was going to be by himself. As he was pulling it out he accidently knocked the bag on the floor and a small book fell open. John bent down to retreive it. He sae a date and some writing.

_Got a call from Dad's friend Jerry. Needs help, something invoving a plane crash. I really hope this case doesn't end up with me on a plane. **I HATE FLYING.**_

John realized that this was Dean's journal. He knew his son kept one like he did. He did not want to violate Dean's privacy so he picked it up. As he did two more things fell from its pages. The first was a photograph, of him, Dean and Sam and the Impala in the parking lot of Universal Studio's. John had been working a job and when he finished up he and the boys had a normal father, son day. The other was a piece of paper that looked like it had been folded and unfolded several times. It looked like it was about to rip. Dean must know this and folded it over only once the last time he looked at it because when it landed on the floor it opened up and John could see quite clearly what was written on it. He picked it up and stared at his sleeping son in shock

"Dad what wrong."

"Sam what the hell is this and did you know anyrhing about it."

Sam took the letter and read it. He to turned and stared at his brother.

A/N: I didn't mean for the fight to happen between John and Sam at the start of this chapter but I just happened when I was writing. I figured it was OOC for them not to have a least one. Just want to thank my super awesome big brother for his idea on the prank that the kids played, or didn't play on Dean. I couldn't think of a thing, which is why I hadn't included it before this part. You will all find out what the letter said in chapter 12. Hoped you liked this chapter. Please read and review.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Sam you really had no idea about this. Dean tells you everything."

"No dad I swear. I didn't know anything about this. "

John looked at the letter once more, and was speechless

"Dad I know your curious, so am I but Bobby's waiting for us. We better not keep him waiting."

"You go ahead Sam. I'm going to wait here."

"For what? Dad I know you want to know about the letter. But now is not the time."

"I just want to know what the story is."

"Um in case you forgot Dad, Dean is still on a vent. He can't talk so showing him that is going to do you no good. The only thing your going to succeed in doing is upseting him. He obviously didn't want us to know about this."

"I didn't forget Sam. I just..."

"Just what?" Sam interrupted "Just wanted to shove it in his face when he woke up or were planning on waking him the second we left , let him know you can't wait to grill him. Real smart, that should help his recovery.?"

Before John could reply Bobby walked back into the room. He didn't know what was going on but he could cut the tension with knife.

"What's up you to look like your about to go for each other's throats."

"Did you know anything about this Bobby?" asked John handing him the letter.

"No. Where did you find that."

"It fell out of Dean's bag. "

"Well there is nothing we can do know so I suggest you put it back and we'll hit the road. You can talk to Dean about it later." said Bobby.

"Bobby, you and Sam go. I'm staying here. I want to be here when Dean wakes."

"John you want to be here to interrogate the poor boy, In case you forgot he can't speak right now so what good is confronting him going to do."

"That's what I said." commented Sam. "But he won't listen."

"Look, Bobby, Sam I know what I'm doing.."

"NO YOU DONT." said Sam raising his voice. "You want him to know that you found that letter and you want an explanation now. Actually dad I am just as curious as you but maybe we shouldn't metion this at all. If Dean didn't want us to know about this why can't you let him have this one thing. His whole life has been about pleasing you, just let him be."

"Sam"

Bobby looked over at Dean in the bed. It was almost as if he could feel the tension in the room because he started to stir. Enough was enough.

"Sam, John enough from both of you. Dean is settled for the night, If either of you wake him, then your both sleeping on the porch tonight. John I get want your saying and Sam I see your point of view. Right now there is nothing any of us can do. Dean needs rest, and more importantly he needs peace between you two. Nothing can be done about this tonight. So what's going to happen is you to are going to turn around say good bye, march out that door and get into my car. No arguments from either of you understood." Bobby's tone left no room for arguement.

He made sure that Sam and John left the room. He walked over to Dean's bed and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Dean, I always knew you had it in you. Good job boy. I'm proud of you. And I know that Sam is to and even though he won't admit it your stubborn old daddy is to. "

THE NEXT DAY

Dean woke early the next morning. It was a good thing that John had warned the staff about Dean's reactions to waking up, because without the restraints he probaby would have succeeded in removing the tube. He looked for his father and brother and remembered that Bobby had dragged them home for the night. He could see the teddy bear and his dad had brought him sitting at the head of his bed. He knew he should be embarrassed but for some reason he wasn't, he felt comforted by it's presence and it allowed him to calm himself down before he set of the alarms. If he was calm when the nurses came in he might get them to remove the restraints because as much as he hated the vent he hated the restraints more. He just hoped that his father got there first because he didn't want anyone to know he still slept with a stuffed animal.

"Good moring Dean."

No such luck he thought as a nurse, Donna if he remembered correctly came in.

Donna saw the teddy bear sitting on the bed and she had the sixth sense to ignore it. She had a feeling that if she mentioned it, it would embarrass her patient. Donna quickly and efficently took his vitals and temperature and noted them on the chart.

"Ok Dean what I have to do now is suction out your trach. In order to do that I have to disconnect the vent. Its going to be difficult but you can breath. Just concentrate on it. I'll be about a minute. Ok are you ready.

Dean nodded yes. It was just breathing how hard could it be.

Donna pulled the vent away from the trach and inserted the suction tube. Dean realized what she meant. He took all his concentration skills just to get air in and out of his lungs. It felt like the longest minute of his life. He would never have admitted it but he was extremely relived when Donna reconnected the vent and oxygen flooded back into his system. It also depressed him, if he couldn't even hold his own for a minute how was he ever going to get off the vent.

Donna was watching her patient. His dad was right about his gorgeus green eyes. She also couln't believe how expressive they were and she knew what he was feeling.

"Dean honey, it's ok. Just remember you've been in a ventilator dependant coma for about 3 weeks. Taking it away like I just did was a shock to your system. They will wean you off it gradually, than it won't seem to bad ok."

Dean nooded. Then looked toward the restraints and back at her. Donna could read the hope in his eyes.

"I'm going to trust you. Leave the tube alone, otherwise they go back on." She said releasing Dean's wrists.

As she was packing up to leave, John showed up.

"Hey son. I wanted to get here first." John made sure to out Dean's bear away before Sam and Bobby showed up.

Dean knew that something was up. He could feel the tension between Sam and his dad and he was wondering what now.

Sam and John had argued all the way back to Bobby's and through most of the night until Bobby had put his foot down. He forbid them to even mention it today or else he would make them regret it. Sam could never understand why John seemed to comply with all Bobby's orders but he was the one person who could get him to back off and for that Sam was greatful. At least John conceded the point that there was no point of mentioning anything while Dean couldn't speak, so Sam figured they had the next few days at least. Then the doctor showed up.

"Good moring all. I see that Dean had a good night." said Dr. Marks, entering the room.

"Any change?" was John's answer.

"No, but I do have some good news."

"What's that?" asked Sam.

"After reviewing Dean's chart we decided to deflate the cuff on his vent."

"What does that mean? Are you removing the vent? I thought you said he was to weak?" questioned Sam.

"No there is an inflated cuff that helps hold the it in place. One of the advantages to a tracheotomy is that, not only do councious patients tolerate it better than the ET tube, but when the cuff is deflated it allows air to pass over the vocal cords which allows the patient to speak. Now its not perfect Dean. You will only be able to speak when air in being pushed into your lungs, so try to keep you sentences short. It will take some getting used to."

Everyone in the room watched as the Dr. Marks deflated the cuff. Dean wished people would stop staring at him. But there was one thing he really wanted to know.

"How does it feel son."

It took him couple of tries but Dean ignored the question and managed to say "How's my car... coming along?

John, and Sam were so relived to hear his voice. Dr. Marks told him to let him know if there was any problems and left.

Bobby of course filled him in immedialely. Dean was happy to participate in the discussion. And didn't hestitate to to offer his opinion on the repairs.

Sam was worried that now that Dean could speak John was going to blindside him. He was happy that John had a physical therapy appointment that day. When Bobby left Dean turned and looked at him. Sam knew what was coming

"Whats up with you... and dad? You look... like you want to... kill each other."

"You know us. It was something stupid."

Dean knew that Sam was lying but he didn't have the energy to argue. So he left Sam change the subject.

LATER THAT AFTERNOON

John came back from his appointment. He found Dean asleep and Sam sitting by his bed reading.

"Hey Sam, hows he doing?"

"Same. Spent most of the time talking about the car. Dad please promise me your not going to confront him today. He need's to get his strength back."

"I don't want to discuss this Sam. I will do want I think is right for my son."

"Dad,,please give him time."

"Don't Sam..."

Again feeling the tension in the room Dean startled awake. After calming Dean down Sam made sure to dominate the conversation since he didn't trust his Dad. He actually thought he had a perfect way to distract him. John had left his memory box in the car that Bobby had lent him

"Hey dad, can you show us your box. I'd like to see what you have in there that belongs to me."

John knew what Sam was up to and he unfornately Sam's idea gave him a perfect idea.

"Sure kiddo. Let me go get it." John left the room

"Sam what box?" asked Dean.

"Dad had box filled with keepsakes, he showed it to you, dont you remember?"

"Dude I was... in a freaking coma."

"Yeah well that was your problem. Dad already showed your stuff. Not my problem you weren't awake to see it. It's my turn now."

"Always did have... to be the center of... attention little brother?"

"Actually don't you mean younger brother, because as I see it your the little brother."

"Your the geek boy."

"That the best you can come up with, your getting slow in your old age Dean."

Before Dean could reply John showed up. He sat on one side of Dean's bed and Sam sat on the other. The first thing John pulled out was a newspaper clipping and a hospital braclet.

"THis is your birth anoucment Sam."

_Big brother Dean would is proud to announce the birth of his little brother Samuel Francis Winchester. Sam weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces. Mother and son are doing fine. Grandparents are Sam and Erin Winchester and Francis and Margaret Jackson_

"Sam here's the bracelet that the hospital put on you. "

"Do you have... mine?" asked Dean.

"Of course. Here is it, and heres your birth announcement."

Dean could believe how small it was. Sam read the announcement over Dean's shoulder.

"Gee Dean, just over 3 lbs, was there ever a time you were bigger than me?" teased Sam.

"Shut up bitch"

"Jerk."

"Boys enough." said John although he loved hearing his boys banter. Than Sam asked the question that John really hoped he wouldn't.

"Hey dad whatever happened to our grandparents did we ever meet them."

"Yeah, Dean you met your my father and you both met Mary's father."

John took the bracelets and newspaper clippings and put them back in his box. Next he took about a piece of paper. He wanted to change the subject. He knew that Sam would bring it up later, but he really did not want to get into it now.

"Sam is from when you were about 3." said John showing a homemade father's day card. "Dean helped you make it. I also have the one you made me to Dean. I was such a proud father. I have all the cards you boy made me over the years."

Sam wanted to know why his father had changed the subject so apprubtly from his grandparents he would find out later though.

"Here's the get well cards that you made for Dean when he was 7 and in the hospital. I remember that was the first fight we had. Children under 12 were not allowed to vist and you got so mad at me when I wouldn't take you to see Dean. You forgave me after he came home because your brother was so much stronger and could play with you a lot longer without getting weak."

John replaced the card and pulled out another hospital bracelet. "Sam this is from when you were 10. It was your second hunt. Remember we went to salt and burn the bones of a spirit. It tackled you and you ended up with a broken wrist, and a concussion. They kept you over night for observation. You were so brave that night son. It was the first time that you spent the night in the hospital."

"Seriouly dude you... you get knocked down by... a ghost and you end up... with a broken wrist... your just to fragile."

"Look whose talking, Dad just how many hospital bracelets do you have in there that belong to Dean and your calling me fragile."

John than took out a photograph of him and the boys at an amusment park.

"Sam this is from your 9 th birthday. When we spent the day Cedar Point. You were scared to go near the roller coasters but you knew that Dean wanted someone to ride with so you did it, and you loved it. I was proud of you for facing your fear that day. You rode evey one in the park, except one. I remember that you got mad beccause it was the one roller coaster you wanted to try the most, you couldn't get on because of the height requirement."

Sam couldn't resist. "See **little** brother, you held me back."

"Very funny Sammy at... least the clowns didn't scare... me."

Sam had no come back for that. There had been a clown walking around the park handing out ballons. He walked over to hand Sam one, and when Sam had suddenly turned he had not expected the clown to be there. He started crying. Then John had to grab Dean after he kicked the clown for scaring his brother.

Before John could respond, nurse Susan came in to check Dean's vitals. She told John and Sam to come back in about a half hour and she would be done."

John and Sam decide it would be a good time to get something to eat and they went to the cafeteria. John knew what was coming when as soon as he sat down.

"Dad why did you change the subject when I asked about our grand parents."

"Your not going to let this go are you."

"No you know me Dad. I'm as stubborn as you."

"I didn't want to get into it in front of your brother."

'Why dad what happened."

"My mom died just after shortly after I got out of the marines. My dad loved her, much like I loved your mother. It was actually through your grandmother that I met Mary. My mom had cancer and was in the hospital. Your mom worked there as a volunteer. I was visiting one day when she dropped off some flowers. We hit it off. After she got off that day we went for coffee. I found out that your mom was attending university and was working toward a teaching degree. She said that she loved kids. She was an only child and she said that she wanted a big family. She told me that she usually worked the pediatrics ward but she had switched a shift with another volunteer. I was so glad she did. I fell in love with Mary that day"

Sam looked up at his father and saw him quickly wipe a tear away. To Sam it was the first time he remembered seeing his father cry.

John continued. "We kept seeing each other, my parents just adored her. Unfortunately Mary's parents weren't so fond of me. Her father is Francis Jackson. He is the CEO of a finance company and a very wealthy man. He thought that I was not good enough for his daughter and was only after her for her money. I promise that nothing is farther from the truth. I loved your mother Sam, I didn't care one bit who her dad was or how much much he was worth."

"I believe you dad. Now I know why you didn't want to metion this in front of Dean." said Sam, remembering the time when he and Dean were in prep school and the arguments that Dean used to get into because someone tried to look down on them because they did not have lot of money.

"That acutally has nothing to do with it Sam. I couldn't care less that he didn't think I wasn't good enough but it was the fact that he didn't think your brother was good enough. That's what I didn't want Dean to know.

"What? " ask Sam he was shocked.

"Yeah son. There was one thing that Frank wanted that all his wealth and power couldn't buy and that was a son. He wanted a boy to carry on the Jackson family name. Now don't get me wrong. He adored Mary, she was his little princess. He didn't disown Mary for getting involved with me. He didn't like me but he put up with me because of your mom's sake. About a year we met, your mother agreed to marry me. Frank accepted that I wasn't going anywhere and he made us a deal, he would pay for the wedding and loan us a down payment on a house if we agreed to name our first born son Jackson. I had just opened the garage and your mother was finishing up college so the money would come in handy so we agreed. Besides what he didn't know was that your mother had planned to do that anyway."

"Than why is Dean, Dean?"

"I'm getting there Sam. Anyway were married and your mom finished college. We both wanted a big family but we know that financially 8 kids was not possible for us. So felt that we could realistically afford 3"

"You and mom wanted 8 kids?"

"Yup. Any we were so happy when we found out we expecting. Frank was just as happy, especially when we found out she was having a boy but than as you know Mary had complications and Dean was early. His name was supposed to be Jackson Samuel Winchester. My father was in failing health ever since my mom passed away. He managed to hold on until after Dean was born. He was such a proud grandfather. Now your mom' s father came to see Dean. When Frank found out that Dean was not expected to survive he told us not to use his name. You see son, he didn't care about his grand kid he just cared that if Dean died than so did his name."

"What did you do."

"Nothing, I didn't havee a chance. Your mother did though. She was like a lioness proctecting her cub. If he didn't want Dean to have have his name than fine. She said that say was giving him a name that meant something so she said we were naming him after me, Jonathan Dean Winchester Jr. She said that Dean was one of the bravest, strongest kid she knew and that her dad should consider himself proud that his grandson carried his name.Then she threw him out and told him not to come back. Your mom was always so protective of the people she loved. "

"Just like Dean."

'Yeah son, just like your brother. We told him that we named him after me because he was like me. We both felt it would do no good to tell him the truth. The thing is Sam, Dean is your mother through and through."

"If you guys had a falling out than..."

"Why is your middle name Francis?"

"Yeah."

"Mostly because your grandfather didn't like his first name, went by Frank. After you were born he showed up and tried to patch things up. He said you were a boy that a father could be proud of. Basically Sam, you were born healthy. He said he would be proud to have you carry on the family name."

"Know that upset your mother and me. I grabbed him and told him that I had two sons that I was proud of not one.

Then your mom said a promise was a promise though and he would have his grandfathers name, Samuel Francis Winchester. He was not happy.

"After my dad passed way I received some insurance money, not alot but enought to pay him back. Then he really was gone from our lives for good."

"What about Mom's mother."

"She was a bigger snob than your grandfather. She wanted nothing to do with me. She never came to the hospital to see you or your brother. That's why your mother was an only child. Her mother wanted a child to fit into social scene. She was so embarrassed that her daughter married a grease monkey. That's what she called me. So Sam you know not to mention this to your brother right. If he asks both your grandparents are rich snobs who wanted nothing to do with any of us."

"I noticed you said are, are they still alive?"

"As far as I know both are still alive and well."

"Wow, I never knew."

"Now you know why. Anyway Sam lets get back up and see your brother."

The nurse was just finishing up when they got back John started going through his box. He showed Sam some reports that he wrote and recevied A's for and his report cards, all straight A's. He showed the boys photos of them and John and even some of Mary. Although John noticed that Dean seemed to look away when he brought them out. Then he brought out Sam's acceptance letter to Stanford.

"I know we fought Sam, but I was proud of you."

"Me too Sammy. Always... knew you were a... geek boy."

That's when Sam realized his mistake, and what John had been waiting for.

"Apparantly Dean..."

'Dad, plesae don't"

"Whats going on... Sam, dad"

"Looks like Sam's not the only one. Would you mind explaining this?"

John held the letter in front of Dean so he could read it, and Dean found himself staring at the one thing he hoped his father would never find.

_To: Jonathan Winchester Jr_

_Fr: The Massachusetts Institute of Technology_

_Dear Mr Winchester_

_Thank you for your application to M.I.T. We are please to inform you of your acceptance into the Mechanical Engineering Program. We are especially please to award you a full scholarship._

A/N Hope you liked this chapter. Please read and review.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this.

John held the letter in front of Dean so he could read it, and Dean found himself staring at the one thing he hoped his father would never find.

_To: Jonathan Winchester Jr_

_Fr: The Massachusetts Institute of Technology_

_Dear Mr Winchester_

_Thank you for your application to M.I.T. We are please to inform you of your acceptance into the Mechanical Engineering Program. We are especially please to award you a full scholarship._

Dean did not want to go there. Well he just wasn't going to answer. Unfornately for Dean, John was not going to allow that to happen.

"Dean, explain this."

Dean reamained silent.

"Jonathan Dean I asked you a question?"

_"Oh no," thought Dean, "full name, dad must be pissed." _But he made up his mind he wasn't answering. He knew what was coming next.

"Jonathan Dean Winchester Jr, I want to know what this is, that's an order!"

Sam couldn't take it any more. "DAD BACK OFF."

If scilence was not working Dean was going to to take his second option, leaving. He really was not taking into account the fact that he was hardwired to every piece of medical equipment know to man.

Sam could see that Dean was getiing upset "Dean its ok, you have to calm down." said Sam and then he addressed his dad. "This is your fault." He looked back at his father. "You just had to have your way, you just had to push" He turned back to his brother. "Dean stop fightening ok, or they are going to put the restraints back on." If Sam had been thinking straight it would have been the last thing that would have said because it caused Dean to fight harder.

Dean was thinking that if he was restrained he would never get away from his father and right now that had to happen because he really did not want to explain his reason's for applying to college.

In his struggles Dean managed to dislodge his IV and the ventilator tube. It was only Sam's quick relflexs that prevented Dean from removing the whole tracheomtomy. But know Dean had even bigger problems. He couldn't breathe. He remembered what the nurse said, concentrate and he would be able to but, unfortnately Sam and John had started yelling at each other, so concentraiting was not something was able to even do. Alarms started screaming.

Dr Brennan and nurse Sarah came running. To them it looked lile Dean was trying to get out of bed and Sam was trying to stop him while having a knock down drag out fight with his father. Sam had managed to get ahold of Dean's hands. This allowed Sarah to reconnect the ventilator. Dr. Brennan orded Dean sedated, and soon he was sleeping.

"Mr Chesterwin, Sam want happened?"

"He did" said Sam point at John and no one missed the accusation in his voice.

"Look Dean is extremely weak, do you know what could have happened. His lungs are starting to heal, we were planning to remove his last chest tube. That stress his lungs were under could have caused one to collapse again.Whatever you to are arguing about take it elsewhere. I dont care if you are his family, you to pull another stunt like this again and I will have you both barred from this room."

"Whats going on." asked Bobby walking in the room.

"Looks like John Sam got into an argument and it upset Dean. He's been sedated. Sarah I want you to get an x-ray set up. I want to make sure this episode didn't damage his lungs any further."

"Yes Dr. Brennan." said Sarah leaving the room.

"Don't worry Dr. Brennan it won't happen again, said Bobby. "Sam, stay with your brother, John you are coming with me."

Bobby grabbed John's arm and literally pulled him from Dean's room.

"Bobby let me go. I'm not a kid." argued John.

"No but your acting like on, and now John, you and I are going to my car for a little discussion, this can happen one of two ways, you can follow me or I will throw you over my shoulder and drag you out of here kicking and screaming. your choice."

John knew that Bobby was serious. He had told Sam that Bobby had a soft spot towards Dean, but he also had a protective streak towards him that was a fierce as Dean's was toward Sam. Right now John knew that Bobby was royally mad. There wasn't to much that scared John but a pissed off Bobby was one of them. The last time Bobby had been this mad was when he and Dean had faced that demon and Bobby had aimed a shot gun at him. He was not looking forward to this. He followed Bobby.

"Good choice." John followed Bobby down to the garage where he let him have it.

"I just got to say what in the hell were you thinking Jonathan Dean Winchester Sr. You son, your first born is lying is a hospital bed, not even 24 hours out of coma. He's being fed through a tube in his nose, and has a machine breathing for him, through a hole in his neck. He got so many tubes and wires attached to him there's almost no place to touch him without chancing pulling something out and you go and start this crap. Tell me what it so importanct about that damm letter that it couldn't wait."

"I don't like it when the boys keep things from me. I just want to know why? Why did he get so upset when Sam left when he was planning on doing the same thing. "

"What difference does it make. Whether he applied for the hell of it or if he truly wanted to go , it doesn't matter. What matters is that Dean did what he always did. He put you and Sam first. He didn't leave and I doubt that he even intended to. He wouldn't leave you and Sam no matter what, you know that. I mean did Dean even come to you and ask if he could go? No he didn't. You pulled that because you just had to have your way, and once again Dean pays the price for it."

"What are you talking about Bobby."

"What about when Sam left. You know close he was to his brother. Yet when Sam told you he was going you told him not to come back and you made Dean feel disloyal to you for wanting to maintain contact, and lets not forget what you said to him when you to battled the fear demon. Do you even know how close you were to breaking him completely. Don't ask John because I am not telling what happened after I threw you out. But I will tell you whats going to happen now. I am going back to your son's room, and I am going to get Sam to drive you back to my place. I'll stay with Dean. You and Sam can fight, yell, punch, scream I dont care. Get it out of your systems because if you do that in front of Dean again I will do everything in my power to get both of you barred from Dean's room. I would barr you now except that I know it would upset Dean. So for him I will give you one more chance. When you and Sam are best buds again then you send Sam back. I dont want you in there anymore tonight. Then you will not bring up any thing unpleasant. Once Dean recovers you can ask him, if he wants to talk fine, if not than you BACK OFF. Understand/"

"Yeah." Not that John would ever admit it but he knew that eveything Bobby had told him was true.

Bobby got out of the car and said that he would send Sam down.

A Few Hours Later

Sam came back and entered Dean's room. He found Bobby sitting next to Dean bed.

"Hey Bobby is he awake?"

"He started to wake briefly but they sedated him for the night to make sure that he stays calm. One good thing though the x-rays showed no further damage and tehy removed the last chest tube. You and your daddy finished."

"Yeah Bobby and thanks. "

"Im going to head home, I will see you in the morning ok. I think Dean needs you here when he wakes."

"No problem, I left Dad in the car, He forgot to get your keys off you."

"I didn't forget. I told you both want would happen if you upset Dean."

Bobby left and drove home, where he made good on his promise and John spent the night sleeping on the porch. Needless to say he was not a happy man when Bobby dropped him off at his physical therapy appointment the next day.

"Good moring John." said his therapist, Joyce Connell. She took one look at John knew somthing was up. "Is Dean alright."

Joyce had worked with alot of stubborn patient over the years but none as stubborn as John Chesterwin. Then she figured out the secret. He loved talking about his kids. Joyce knew that up until yesterday Dean had been in a coma. John was so happy when he was here the other day with the news that Dean had woken up and though it would be a long one Dean was expected to make a full recovery. Joyce knew that Dean was going to be starting physical therapy when he was off the vent and she was really hoping to get him as a patient.

"Dean's fine. They removed his chest tube yesterday. Just had trouble sleeping last night."

"Are you ready to get started. Lets see you finished telling me about Dean's heart surgury. You promised you would tell me about the time he saved you life and I want to hear it.

So John told her the story about Dean getting hurt and the story of the guitar.

"I wish my two girls got along like that. Patti's 18 and Gail's 15. THey fight like cats and dogs."

"Dean and Sam were close but that does not mean there wasn't fights because there was."

"When Gail was born Patti wanted to exchange her for a dog."

"There were plenty of times when Sam and Dean got on each others nerves. Like the time when Dean was 12 and Sam was 8. Sam idolized Dean. He wanted to go everywhere and do everything his big brother did. Dean was going on his first date. Hayley WInston was his first crush. Dean asked if he could take her to the mall for lunch and a movie. Her parents agreed. The boy's um uncle Caleb drove them. Now Dean usually took Sam along wherever he went and Sam got upset when he couldn't go. . So Dean promised Sam to he would take him to the park the next day to make up for it. Sam seemed content with that. When I dropped him the kids off at the mall I didnt realize that Sam had a plan. He told me that Caleb said he could go for the drive. Then he told Caleb I said he could join Dean and Hayley. Needless to say Dean was not pleased when he realized that Caleb had drove away and Sam was standing there with them. I was at work and so Dean was forced to look after Sam. They couldn't go to the movie they wanted because Sam wasn't old enough. Let's just say that Hayley was less than thrilled as well. When they got home Dean let Sam have it. I wasn't to pleased either, because Sam had lied to me. He was grounded for the weekend, which meant he couldnt go to the park. He didn't try it again."

"If Gail did that to Patti I think she would have lynched her sister."

"Dean was upset but there was nothing that Sam could do that Dean wouldn't forgive. But there was one thing that came really close."

"What was that."

"Sam and Dean used to get into some awful prank wars. At first it was little things. Sam would put a fake rat on Dean's bed or Dean would put a clown doll on Sam's, don't ask," He said looking at Joyce.

"I mean you name it they've probably glued each other to it. Sam would play connect the dots on Dean's freckles, Dean would hide Sam's books Than once when Sam was 13 Dean put an old smurfs lunch box in Sam's backpack and wrote property of Sammy Chesterwin on it. He was so embarrassed. Sam got revenge by putting a for sale sign in the window of Dean's car. Now you have to understand that car was Dean's pride and joy. He couldn't understand why he was getting calls asking how much he wanted for it. When he found out what Sam had done, got revenge by putting Nair in Sam's shampoo. Sam was furious. He had to wear a ball cap to school. So he took his prank one step further. He swiped Dean's extra set of keys and when Dean came, he had his friends older brother drive off it in. When Dean came out Sam told him he finally found a buyer. Lets just say I was a good thing I was home that day. It was a week before Dean would speak to Sam again. I put my foot down and said no more pranks."

Joyce chucked out loud. "Tell me more, Why did they start to speak?"

"Sam has this face that Dean can't resist. I call it his puppy dog eyes. Sam and asked Dean to forgive him and give him the look. That was it. Then the truce broke and Dean hid Sam's home work and he went to school the next day without it. I really put my foot down then. It was hard to do that though. Like I said Dean had to grow up fast after his mom died it was good to see him acting like a kid."

"I wish fixing fights between my girls was that easy. Patti was just accepted at UCLA. She can wait to go to college. I think that's part of the problem, Gail's going to miss her sister and doesn't want to admit it."

"Dean really missed Sam when he left for college. "

"Were did he go."

"Stanford. Full scholarsip. I was proud of him."

"I'm proud of Patti for getting accepted. Just wish it wasn't so expensive. What about Dean. Did he go."

"No he joined the the family business. He could have gone. He was accepted at M.I.T. also with a full scholarship. I was proud of him to."

"And he turned it down,"

"It's a long story. Dean always said that he wanted to work with me."

John wanted change the subject so he went on to tell Joyce the story about him giving Dean his car.

He was thinking. He was proud of Dean, just like he was of Sam when he got accepted. He realized that was what he should have told Dean, when he found the letter, not thrown it at him like he had. He really wanted to get back to the hospital and see his son. And as soon as Dean was off the vent, he Dean and Sam had lot to talk about.

A/N: I know that it was not much of a flashback but I was going through some writers block when I first wrote the chapter. The next chapter belongs to Bobby. I hope you liked this chapter please read and review.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I dont own supernatural, they are owned by the cw, and Eric Kripe and company. No money is being made from this.

While John was at his physical therapy appointment, Bobby drove the short distance to the hospital. He wanted to check on Dean. He was glad to see that Dean was awake and saw that Sam was with him. He frowned when they seemed to be arguing about something, it turned to laughter when he heard what they were arguing about.

"That Sam is... why batman is superior... to spiderman in every... way."

"No way Dean, spiderrman could so kick batman's ass every time."

"Actually," said Bobby joining in on the conversation "Wolverine makes them both."

Sam and Dean looked to see Bobby come into the room. Both boys were glad to see him,

"Batman could mop... the floor with wol... verine."

"You know Bobby I hate to agree with Dean, it gives him a swelled head but he's so right on that one, but then remember spiderman would come along and use batman as floor wax."

"Then Cyclops could show up and give them a look and they'd all be history."

All three men looked up as they saw Dr. Marks enter the room.

"Yeah but with out... his beams cyclops... would be no match for... batman."

"Ok no super powers than bat man can't use his toys and then Spiderman could take him without breaking a sweat."

"Even without his claws, they would be no match for wolverine." defended Bobby.

"As much as I would love to continue this deep discussion I really need to examine Dean. Could you guys give me about 15 minutes."

"Sure, I could go for somthing to eat." said Sam, "Bobby want to join me."

Both told Dean that they would be back shortly, As they walked out Dean could hear Sam informing Bobby all the reasons why Spiderman, was the man when compared to wolverine.

"Alright Dean, I want to listen to your lungs. So what I'm going to do is disconnect the vent and I want you to take as deep a breath as you can ok. Now your lungs were badly injured and the vent has been breathing for you for the better part of a month, so don't get discouraged or upset if you feel like you can't get a really deep breath. Ok ready."

"Yeah go ahead."

Dr.Marks, helped Dean sit up and he removed the vent from Dean's trach. He placed his stethescope up to Dean chest and instructed him to breath as deep as he could. Dean was trying but he had trouble just getting a small amount of air in his lungs unassisted. He also felt this way the four times a day when the nurses suctioned his trach. He **HATED **that he felt so relieved when they were done and the vent was reconnected.

"Ok Dean you can lean back." said Dr. Marks. He rehooked the vent and when he looked at Dean he saw that his warning had fallen of deaf ears. "Dean you did fine. I'm pleased with what I'm hearing. We will get another CAT scan of your lungs tomorrow. I have evey confidance that we will be able to start weaning you off the vent tomorow."

"Hope so." Then something else occured to Dean. "Hey doc how... do you take it out."

"Your trach?"

Dean nodded.

"In your case its very simple, there is no damage to your trachea so we just remove the tracheotomy collar and pull the trach, just like we would an ET tube. Then we place a bandage over the stoma, thats what the hole is called. It should heal on its own."

"And if it... doesn't heal." Dean had guessed that meant surgury and his heart monitor started to speed up."

"Dean calm down ok. I know the thought of surgury upsets you, and yes if the stoma doesnt close on its own, we would have to close it surgically. But that's a rare occurence alright. Let's worry about the if and that's a big if it happens."

Dean heard the doctors words and forced himself to swallow his emtions. He didn't want to be sedated again. He hated feeling like this, getting upset at every little thing. He could not wait to get rid of the vent. From past experiences he knew that once he was breathing unassisted he should have no trouble convincing his father to let him sign himself out AMA. Then once everyone left him alone, he could get himself back under control.

One other thing occured to Dean, how would this guy know how he felt about surgury anyway. Just what had his father been telling people while he was in out of it?

Dr. Marks left the room and ran into Sam and Bobby on the way out.

"Hey Doc, how is he?" asked Bobby

John had given his permission to give any news about Dean, to this man. He said that Bobby was family.

"He's doing pretty good. I'm noticing a definete improvement in his lungs. Leaving the vent in these last three days was a big help. We are going to do a cat scan tomorrow and re-access but I'm certain that we should be able to start weaning Dean off the vent tomorrow."

"How long is that going to take?" asked Sam.

"It's hard to say it depends on a number of things, length of time a person has been on it, the patients attitude, to name a couple. I would say we are probably looking at a week, maybe two for it to be fully removed."

"That should make Dean happy." said Sam.

"Let me know if you have any question ok?"

"Sure thanks Doc." said Sam yawning.

"Sam did you get any sleep last night?"

"Not much. With the state Dean was in last night I didn't want to leave."

"Why don't you take my car and pick up your father, he should be just about done. Drop him off and then head back to my place and get a nap."

Sam looked reluctant. He didn' t want his dad upsetting Dean again.

"Just promise you won't leave dad alone with him."

"Don't worry about your father Sam leave that to me."

"Ok that sounds good."

Sam told Dean that he would be back later this afternoon

"Where's dad?" asked Dean

"He had a PT appointment. Sam is going to drop him off here"

"Is he still mad... at me?"

"Now tell me why on earth would you think your Daddy's mad at you."

"He didn't come back... last night. He always good... night when I'm in... the hospital. So he... must be really up... upset." explained Dean, and he turned toward the wall. "Why do I... always seem to mess... up."

_Why do you always assume it's your fault when something goes wrong. _Bobby looked toward's Dean's monitors, his vitals looked like they were about to match his emotional state which was not good. He had to get Dean to calm down.

"Dean I want to you listen to me ok?"

Dean continued to stare at the wall. Bobby didn't know if Dean didn't hear him or chose to ignore him. He expected the latter. Time to bring out the big guns.

"Now you listen to me and listen good Jonathan Junior" That got Dean's attention. "Your daddy is not mad at you. As for the reason that he didn't come back last night was because I told him not to. You both needed a chance to calm down. Your dad was not mad when he found that letter Dean. He was curious, he wanted to know what it was about. Both me and Sam wanted to him to wait he didn't want to, and I'll repeat again not because he was mad but because he was curious. You and I both know that he doesn't like to be told what to do. Just remember something, your daddy maybe cranky when he gets here but its not you. He didn't get much sleep last night."

"You made... him sleep on the... porch last night."

"Yup, I warned him, not my fault he didn't listen."

"Hey Dean."

Both Dean and Bobby looked up and saw John come into the room.

"Hey dad." answered Dean, "Im sorry."

Bobby sighed. It was like talking to brick walls.

"About what?" asked John

"For the... letter."

"No Dean I'm the one whose sorry, I didn't handle that very well. The same with when Sam told me. What I should have said was I'm proud of you Dean. Do you know how hard it is to get into MIT. Its one of the top schools in the country."

"I didnt want to go... guidence counsellor... kept calling me to the... office, just applied... to get him off... my case."

Both John and Bobby knew that there was much more to it than that. Because it that was the case than why did he keep the letter and fold and upfold it so many time it looked like was about to rip. Also he would never have gotten so upset when John showed it to him. John followed Bobby's advice and let it go. He did not want a repeat of last night's events.

John changed the subject and Bobby couldn' t help but remeber the time he first met the Winchesters.

It was about twenty years ago. He had rececived word from Jim Murphy that he was sending John to him to learn about demons from the best. They had showed up 2 days later. At first Bobby had not been to keen on the idea of having a 7 year old and a 3 year old. He was thinking about his brothers kids, they were always arguing and screaming at each other. Plus they were spoiled brats who never listenend. Plus the salvage yard was full of broken glass, rusty nails and just about everything else. His house was not child proof. That changed when he first met Sam and Dean.

Dean was the quietest kid that Bobby had ever met. He spoke when spoken to but he rarely ever iniated a conversation, except with his younger brother. Sam and Dean were both good kids. And the way that Dean looked after Sam was amazing. Bobby came to realize that Sam had two firce loyal protectors in John and Dean, and that Dean was also both the same to John. It made Bobby wonder who did that for Dean.

Shortly after the Winchester's arrived Bobby had seen Dean playing out front with Sam. Sam had tripped and skinned his elbow. Bobby watched as Dean took Sam into the bathroom and clean the wound and put a batman bandage on it. To keep Sam from getting upset Dean told him how brave he was and tickled him and told jokes. It was a couple of week after that when Bobby was watching John put Dean through some type of training drill. Dean seemed like he was having trouble catching his breath and he stumbled and skinned his knee. Bobby watched as Dean picked himself up and went to the bathroom and cleaned and bandaged his own cut. It was from that point on that Bobby developed a big soft spot for Dean Winchester and decided to appoint himself as Dean's protector. Not that he would ever admit that to Dean.

The next day Bobby gave John an assignment to translate some latin texts. He noticed that Dean seemed interested in the cars in Bobby's yard. It was one of the few things that Dean had ever asked him about. He still remembered the first time he took Dean to the yard with him.

"Dean, while you Daddy's working would you come to the Salvage yard with me, I need you help."

"Can I daddy, please I'll be good and keep a close eye on Sammy."

"Actually Dean, your Dad is going to look after Sammy today."

Bobby had realized that it was the wrong thing to say because Dean looked like he had been insulted.

"Why did I do something wrong, I won't let Sammy get hurt I promise."

"I know that Dean but I really need your help today. I have a big job that will require all your concentration ok?"

Dean looked reluctant to leave Sammy, but he really wanted to see those cars. "Ok, can I Daddy."

John was about to say no but one look from Bobby and John changed his mind.

"Sure kiddo go ahead, just be careful and listen to Bobby. "

"Thanks Daddy. I will. I'll be a good help Bobby."

And he was. Bobby took him to an old car and started to explain how the engine worked and what each part was and he taugh him about the different names of the tools and how they worked. When Bobby worked on a car later he asked Dean to bring him the tools and Dean got them all right.

Later that evening Dean told his father and Sam all about his day. He chatted non stop at the dinner table. This was the first time, since before the fire that Dean sounded like he was excited about something. John remembered that Dean liked to go to the garage with him. From that point there was hardly a day that Dean did not ask Bobby if he could go with him. He even dragged John and Sam with him some mornings so he could show off what he learned.

He learned quickly when it came to those things but John wanted Dean to learn latin with him and Dean was really struggling with it. John was also increasing Dean's physical training. He had taken the 7 year old shooting and Dean and John were so proud when Dean bullseyed eveyone of them. In his single minded pursuit to make sure his boys could look after themselves against all things supernatural he almost missed the signs that something was seriously wrong with Dean.

It seemed like that whenever John gave Dean a physical drill he would almost instantly become winded. John said that Dean was out of shape and needed to train harder. Bobby tried to tell John that something was wrong but he wouldn't listen. Then there was one day when Dean fainted and John and Bobby got to him and Dean was turning blue. John grabbed him and took Dean to the hospital.

John could have kicked himself. He really should have listened and than his first born would not in this situation. How could he have been so stupid to not remember that Dean did have a heart condition. That hole had never been fixed.

The doctors decided that with his history of breathing problems that it could be asthma. If it was his heart than they all knew that open heart surgury would have been the only option and no one wanted to subject a 7 year old to that. Unfortnately the asthma medication did nothing for him and tests revealed that they had to repair the hole. Bobby was there with John and Dean every step of the way. He could even recall the "fight" John and Sam had, well as much as a fight as you could have with a three year old.

"Daddy where's Dean."

"He's in the hospital Sammy, remember Daddy said the doctor had to fix his heart."

"I go see Dean."

"I wish I could Sammy, Dean wants to see you to kiddo, but they wont let you."

"I a big boy, daddy, I go see Dean."

"I know Sammy they don't let kids under 12 on the floor,"

"You bring Dean here then."

"I will Sammy when he gets better, He will be alot stronger and he can play longer ok"

"No daddy bring Dean here."

'I can't Sammy, the doctors have to make him better."

"Daddy you mean."

With that Sam had left. John felt bad but he knew that Dean needed this surgury. What John didn't know was that Bobby pretty much had the same converstion with Bobbty that also ended with "Bobby you mean."

John the boys had stayed with him for about year and when they left Bobby missed them all. John kept in touch and whenever they were in the area they stopped for a visit. Bobby recalled a time when Dean was 10 and John decided Dean was ready to go on to his first hunt. Dean had been understandably very nervous. He was afraid of letting his father down. Bobby had given him a pep talk and he also had something else for Dean. He still remembered that converstion well.

"Dean you'll do fine and I know your Daddy's gonna be proud."

"You really think I'll do ok Bobby."

"I don't think Dean, I know. Here this is for you."

"What is it."

Dean reached out and took what Bobby was holding. It was a pendant in the shape of a head with a what looked like horns. It was attached to sturdy leather cord.

"Its a protection amulet." He say that Dean was about to protest. "Its not protection for you. It will help you protect your family. It will give you a feeling if they are in danger so even if your not with them, you will know that they need you. Also only someone who is truly brave is able to wear it"

"I better not put it on," Dean looked behind him to make sure his father was out of earshot. "I'm scared what if I screw up tonight."

"Dont you know that is what it means to be truely brave. To be able to admit your scared it keeps you from becoming to to cocky besides, this pendant goes by whats in your heart and you Jonathan Dean Winchester Jr are the bravest person I know. Now go kick that poltergist's butt."

"Yes sir, and Bobby, thanks"

"Your welcome kiddo."

John and Dean came back later that night. He and John had spilt up to put the purifying bags in the corners of the house. Dean had planted his his and got an overwhelming sense that his father was in trouble. He went and found his father, crying look out and John was able duck the chair that the poltergist had lauched and avoid serious injury.

Later back at Bobby's John had nothing but praise for his son and the last time Bobby had seen Dean that excited was the day he had first asked for Dean's help in the Salvage yard. It was after that, John had started trusting Dean again and leaving him alone with Sammy again. Dean vowed never to take that pendant off, and as far as Bobby knew he hadn't. It was from that point that Bobby never doubted the power of suggestion again. He honestly had no idea what that the pendant actually was, he had found it for $1.50 at charity garage sale and had thought that it looked cool.

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John could be blind when it came to see what he was doing to Dean sometimes but there was no time that was worse as to when Sam left for college.

John blamed Dean and he let him know it. Then there was the time when John and Dean were battling a fear demon and it manged to get away. John laid into Dean really bad. Dean almost broke that night. Bobby picked up the shot gun and aimed it at John and told him to get out out.

He would never give John details about what happed that week. He found Dean sitting in the Impala and it was the first time that Bobby had seen Dean cry since he was 7. It showed him just how vulnerable Dean was when Bobby pulled him into a hug and Dean didn't protest or try to pull away.

Bobby didn't say anything that night he just let Dean be himself, not the person he constructed to show the world. The next day Dean was embarrassed and tried to leave but Bobby woudn't let him. He told Dean he needed his help repairing some cars and he kept Dean busy so he didn't have time to think. Dean had started having nightmares. Bobby eventually cornered Dean and made him talk about everything that happed and everyrhing the Fear Demon had shown him, and made Dean see that most likely John had been effected to. Everyday Dean seemed to be a little more like his old self, Bobby honestly didn't know if Dean had re-constructed his walls or if he geniuinly made Dean feel better. He felt it was little of both.

After about a week, Dean called his father and the two talked and decided to give that Demon another try. John had said that Dean was responsible for getting rid of it.

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"Bobby, Bobby... you listening" asked Dean as Bobby was shaken out his him memories.

"Sorry kiddo, what were you saying,."

"Dad thinks that.. the lone ranger could... take Batman... I say he's nuts."

"Your both nuts if you think either could take Wolverine."

"Ok guess that we'll have to agree to disagree." said John. "I could go for some coffee."

"Can I have... some."

"Sure son, I'll mainline it into your feeding tube."

"The doctors said that they should be able to start weaning you off the vent tomorrow, so it should be long before you lose your tubes, then just think off all that lovely hospital food you'll get to eat."

Dean could not wait to get rid of all the tubes and the hospital bracelet . He wanted his own stuff back. He felt that strange not having his ring, bracelets and necklace, speaking of which where were they.

"Dad where... is my stuff. My pendant."

"Its safe Dean. Sam got it from the nurses staff after you were admitted. "

"Can you ask... him to bring it."

"The doctors won't let you wear it."

"I know I... just want it."

"Ok, I'll give Sam a call. Bobby you want some coffee."

"Sure."

"You both know... your just drinking it... to torture me."

"That's the point." said John leaving the room,

"Dean, I promise Sam and John are fine ok."

"Thats not why I... want it. I know about it Bo... Bobby."

"What do you mean."

"I met a guy on... a job, said it was... replica of some... Egyptian Goddess... said it was a good... luck charm."

"How long have you known."

"SInce I was about ..,16."

"Then why did you keep wearing it if you know it was worthless"

"Not worthless,.. its special"

"How so? Are you saying it really works."

"No, it special because you... you gave it to me. So how..."

Damm vent, Dean thought as it took the air from his lungs. He wanted to change the subject before Bobby turned this into a chick flick moment.

Now it was Bobby's eyes that filled with tears. He put a hand on Dean's shoulder looked him in the eye, He was not about to let Dean off the hook that easy. He said "I love you to kiddo."

Dean looked away, embarrassed and Bobby didlet him off the hook and changed the subject back to the Impala.

It wasn't long before Dean drifted off to sleep.

John came back shortly after that and handed Bobby his coffee.

John looked toward a sleeping Dean. "You Bobby I was think about the deep meaningful discussion we had today. I just realized Batman, superman, wolverine, the Lone ranger, there is one hero who could take them all"

" Johnny. I didn't think I'd ever hear myself say this but I couldn't agree with you more."

A/N The meaning behind Dean's necklace is somthing I completely made up, its not a spoiler. I had all Bobby's memories take place in his head because I figure they are things Dean would not want getting out. Hope that this chapter was ok, please read and review.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The doctor's prediction proved correct. The next day Dean was taken for his CAT scan and afterward the decision was made to start weaning him off the ventilator. Dean fought hard and 5 days later the tracheotomy was removed. Three days later and he was still wearing a nasal cannula beneath his nose, but he much preferred that to the vent. The doctors said he would probaby not need it in a few days and Dean could not wait.

"Good moring Dean."

Dean looked up and saw Dr. Brennan enter the room.

"Moring doc."

Dr Brennan checked Dean's vitals and was pleased with what she saw. She also checked the stoma to make sure that it was healing alright.

"Hows it looking Dr. Brennan?" Dean asked after she reapplied the dressing. He didn't miss her frown.

"Unfornately its not closing as I would like it to.

Dean could only think of one thing that Dr. Marks had told him. "Does that mean...?" Dean couldn't get the word out but the monitor he was still attached to started to show his distress.

"It is a good possibility. I'm going to page Dr. Brookes, and have him come in for consult. He'll decide if surgury is necessary."

"Morning dude." both looked up saw that John was walked in. John took one look at Dean and knew that something was up.

" You don't need to that Doc because I want you to get the AMA forms. I'm signing out."

"That's not a good idea Dean, your lungs still need to be monitored and your still getting pain killers in your IV."

"I don't care, I'm signing out now, Just get me the damm forms will you."

"Son, I know you want to go home but listen to the doctor on this one."

"No, either get the forms or I'm just getting up and leaving."

"Your not signing yourself out Dean."

"I'm 27, I don't need your permsisson, now doc the papers."

"I'll be back, ok, I'll let you to talk. Dean please reconsider."

"There is nothing to talk about. I'm getting out of here, today."

Dr. Brennan left and John followed her.

"What happened?"

"Dean asked how the stoma was looking. Mr Chesterwin I believe in being honest with all my patients. I told Dean that the stoma is not closing as I would like it, so I want to call in a surgurical consult

"Which is the reason why he wants to sign himself out. Is it for sure, the surgury."

"Most likely, however the Otolaryngologist, Dr, Brookes will make that decision. Should I page him, if Dean wants to sign out there is nothing I can do."

"Dr. Brennan don't worry about it. Set it up. I'll talk to him and he won't be checking himself out okay."

"Alright, I be back later you can have me paged if you need anything. "

"Thanks doc."

John came back into Dean's room, he sat on the edge of Dean bed so he could look him in the eye.

"You can't stop me dad. I'm an adult I can make my own decisions."

"Dean listen to me. No don't turn you head, listen to me. If surgury is necessary, you'll get through it. You got through it when you were seven, and when you were 13. You got through the two after the car accident. I won't forget my promise son, the last person you see before you go under and the first you see when you wake. Right now try not to think about it okay."

"That's easy for you to say, your not the one going under the knife and I'm not either."

"Let's wait and see what the doctor has to say first ok."

Dean looked like he was about to protest so John put a stop to it "That' an order."

Dean decided to change the subject.

"Where's Sam?"

John knew that the argument was over for now, but he was sure that it would come back up.

"Bobby promised a client that he would finish their car today so he went home and Sam went with him to get another car so that we wouldn't be stuck without transportation."

"Good he can use it to drive me home."

_"Ok I was wrong," thought John "Dean isn't done."_

"Enough Dean." There was one thing that would work. "Alright I'll let you sign out if you agree to one condition."

"Anything."

"You have to call Bobby and explain why you need him to pick you up."

John knew he was being mean, John wouldn't go against Bobby and he knew that Dean wouldn't either. Dean just glared at his father, he knew that Bobby would never agree to let Dean sign himself out AMA.

"Remember the last time you tried"

"Yeah, My back still remembers the bench." answered John."

"I can't believe he really made you sleep on the porch. "

"He did. I remember it like it was yesterday."

_Dean had been seven and he had just been removed from the vent following his heart surgury. Dean started begging to go home, using the argument that he had Sammy to look after, Bobby needed his help in the salvage yard and he had to train with Daddy. Plus Sam had stopped speaking to him, expect to tell him that daddy was mean because he wouldn't bring Dean home. John felt terrible. So he agreed to sign Dean out AMA. Bobby told him in no uncertain terms that he was doing no such thing. He had told Bobby he could decide what was best for his son and not to interfere. Bobby then warned John he what would happen if he tried. He went to the hospital later that day to visit Dean and found John arguing with the doctor about taking Dean home. He had the papers. Bobby had walked up to John took the papers and ripped them up, and told that he cared about the boys just as much as John did and if Dean needed to be in the hospital then thats where he was staying. They aruged but it the end result was the same, Dean remained in the hospital the next five days and John spent the next five nights sleeping on the porch. _

"Dad.. hey dad"

John was shaken out of his memories

"Sorry , what is it."

"I'll let the new doc check me out and then well talk."

"Sounds good son." said John hiding a grin.

"Dad, would you um... could you ah... waitherewithme." said Dean in a rush.

"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere. Besides we have something very serious to discuss."

"What's that." Dean asked tentativly

"How can you possibly say that Batman's car is is cooler than KITT from Knight Rider."

John spent the moring trying to keep Dean from thinking to much. He kept bringing up light topics. Sam showed up a little later and John filled him on the situation and asked Sam to call Bobby. Bobby wanted to come right away but he had promised a client that he would have his car today but he would get there as soon as possible.

Much to soon for Dean's comfort Dr Brookes showed up.

"Hi," he said looking at the chart "Jonathan Chesterwin Jr."

"Yeah, but call me Dean, I'm only John Jr when I'm in trouble," explained Dean

"He was John Jr alot as a kid."

"Not half as much as you Samuel Francis"

"Shut up."

"Boys, enough, Sorry Doctor..."

"Brookes. No worries, I have three kids of my own. I was speaking to Dr, Brennan. She filled me in on the situation. Do you mind stepping out of the room while I exam your son."

John stood up, he felt Dean grab his hand.

"I want them to stay."

"Okay, lets see what we have."

Dr. Brookes removed the big bulky bandage and examined Dean. It didn't take long, and he reapplied the bandage.

"It's looks like Dr. Brennan instincts are correct. I'd like to schedule the surgury for around 9am tomorrow."

"NO."

"Easy son" said John laying a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"It's a fairly simple procedure, shouldn't take more than a half hour tops."

"No, ok I'm signing out. I don't care if I have to call Bobby."

"Dean, the stoma is not going to close on its own."

'You don't know that. It could"

"Chances are it won't. Plus you have to remember that is on open wound, the longer it stays open, the greater the risk of infection."

"No. Its not gonna happen."

"Dean calm down ok." Sam was getting worried. Last last time he had seen Dean this upset was when they worked that phantom traveler case. Sam was not used to seeing his big brother scared.

"Sam stay with your brother, I need to talk to Dr. Brookes." As John walk away Dean rolled over on his side, with his back to Sam and John.

John motioned for the doctor to follow him, and John explained to the promise that he made to his son. He wanted to stay with Dean until he was put to sleep. Dr. Brookes protested that they did not allow anyone in the OR. John stood his ground and said he knows was done and the doctor countered that it was only done for young patients. John didn't care, he promised his son and he wasn't about to break it. Dr. Brookes was about to say no again.

"DEAN STOP!"

They both turned around at the sound of Sam's cry and when the monitors started screaming. John cursed. When John had turned his back, Dean took advantage of the situation and had ripped out his IV and pulled off the monitor leads, and had tried to get out of bed. Of course being in bed for over a month, when he stood up he was immediately attacked with a bout of vertigo and he ended up on the floor. Dr. Brookes hit the call button. The nurses were alerted quickly when the monitors went off so they showed up fast. John and Doctor Brookes, went to Dean and help him up and back in bed. Once he was back in bed, Nurse Brenda and Nurse Jody tried to go about cleaning up the cut from the ripped IV, and re-attaching the monitors and re-hooking the IV, and checking Dean's dressings to make sure there was no damage however Dean was not making it easy

"I said... I said leave me... alone... I dont... need that... need that stuff. I'm... going home." Dean was trying to catch his breath. Breathing was becoming more difficult.

Brenda could see that Dean was about to hyperventiate and pulled the full face mask off the wall and put it on Dean, he of course immediately pulled it off.

"Dr. the patient is not cooperating can I sedate him."

John took at look and for the first time, in a very long time he saw his son. Not the hunter, and or Sam's protector or his little solider, he saw Dean and right now his son needed him

"Mr. Chesterwin, I'll make arrangements for you to be there." He than told the nurse to give Dean a shot of ativan.

"No," said John, "Your not sedating him. Let me talk to him."

"Mr. Chesterwin it would be best, he needs to calm down now," argued Brenda.

"You only be putting off the inevitable,when he wakes you'll get the same reaction, Now get away from my son. Your not sedating him."

Sam looked at his father in shook, from the times he remember when Dean had been in the hospital and had gotten stubborn like this, John was all for sedation.

John walked over to Dean. "I'm here son. Let them finish what they need to ok, and they will leave you alone."

"No sugury." It was barely a whisper because Dean couldn't catch his breath.

John motioned for the nurse to give him the mask and he put it on, and said once more. "Im here buddy, Its ok."

"Dad don't leave."

"Not going anywhere." While John had Dean distracted the Nurses were able to complete their tasks. Then they left.

Unfornately Nurse Brenda did not help the situation. She was a very outspoken person and most times spoke without thinking. She was having a bad day and when she was leaving the room with Nurse Jody. Brenda had heard the stroies but she figured that since Dean was an adult he should have outgrown his fears and when she was just out the door said the worst thing she could

"Can you believe that, a grown man acting that way. He should be ashamed of himself. My 6 year old had his appendix removed and he didn't act like that. If I was his father I would tell him to grow up and stop acting like a baby."

When Dean heard that he realized that she was right. His father must be digusted with him, he was useless. He was supposed to protect Sam, how could Sam ever trust him again. He was worthless. His family didn't need him. Dean rolled over on his side, closed his eyes.

Both John and Sam were on their feet. A voice stopped them cold.

"Excuse me." The voice was low, but John recognized it and the cold steel it contained. The last time he heard it was when he had pretty much said the same to Dean after they had battled that Fear Demon. For Brenda her bad day was about to get a whole lot worse. Bobby had called his client, who was also a good friend and explained that a friend was in the hospital. He understood and told Bobby that he could wait a couple more days for his car. He had just come around the corner in time to hear Brenda make her comment.

"Sam stay with your brother. I have to make sure that Bobby doesn't end up being charged with homocide."

John stepped out of the room.

"Would you care to repeat what you just said miss." asked Bobby. His voice was still calm, but John wasn't fooled.

"You are?"

"He's family." replied John. Brenda turned around and looked at John. She knew that she was in trouble.

"John, go back and be with Dean. He needs you now. I'll have a little chat with..." he read her name tag "Ms. Connelly."

For a brief moment, John had felt sorry for her. He had been on the receiving end of more than one of Bobby's little chats.

John turned to go back into the room. He heard her asking her for the name of her supervisior.

"Mr. Chesterwin, I'm sorry." Jody felt the need to apologize.

"It's okay, " said John. "Your friends the one you should feel sorry for."

Jody looked scared

"Don't worry Bobby won't hurt her. It's just that cares for my boys like they were his own sons and nobody messes with them, especially Dean.

John went to Dean. He tried to talk to him but Dean refused to look at him or speak. All he could hear was the demons words.

_You fight and you fight for this family. But the truth is they don't need you, not like you need them. _This kept playing over and over in Dean;s head.

John let him be for now. He knew that when Dean got like this not nothing could budge him.

About half an hour later Brenda came back in the room. She couldn't look at John and she mumbled and apology. A little while later another nurse showed up.

"Mr. Chesterwin, I am Evelyn Martin, I am the nursing supervisor. I just wanted to add my apology for what happened earlier. I have spoken with Brenda. Would you like to lodge a formal complaint."

"Yes we would. What happens than?" said John.

"Well Brenda has a similar compliant so it would mean susupension.

"How do we go about it."

"Come to my office and we can fill out the paper work."

"No." Everyone looked at Dean. He still had not opened his eyes or moved. "Let it go, Dad please. I don't want someone else to get in trouble because of me. I'm not worth it. Just let it go."

"Alright son, if that's what you want. Ms Martin, please tell Brenda she can thank her lucky stars that my son is the man he is. I also don't want her near my boy again though."

"Alright Mr. Chesterwin, once again I am sorry."

After two hours, in which Dean refused to speak again and had refused to eat, which earned him another frown from a nurse, she tried to lecture him that he wouldn't get better if he didn't eat. One glare from John and it stopped before it got started.

John was at a loss. He wanted to ask Bobby what to do. Then John started to get digusted with himself. When did he start relying on Bobby everytime Dean got upset. Not that John didn't appreciate everything Bobby had done for Dean, he did, more that words could ever say but Dean was his son, and it was time that he took care of his boy.

"Sam, Bobby I need you guys to do something for me ok."

"What Dad."

"I want you to go to the cafeteria or somthing just give me about a half hour with Dean before you come back." He saw that Sam was about to protest. "Please Sam don't argue. We both know that right now he is beating himself up over what happened earlier. He needs to get this out. He won't do that in front of you."

"He won't do it front of you either Dad."

"I'll talk to him John if you want."

"Bobby, thank you, for everything you've done but I think Dean needs me right now."

"That was the answer I was hoping for. Come on Sam.

As they left John could hear Sam asking Bobby what he said to that nurse. John made a mental note to ask Bobby later. He wanted to know. Making up his mind he went and closed the door to the room and then he went to Dean's bed and sat down. Startled by the sudden pressure Dean turned and John took advantage and layed back against the head of the bed, pulled Dean into his arms and cradled him against his chest. Dean, suddenly embarressed tried to pull away. John just held on tighter.

"Lay still Dean. That's an order."

The three magic words and Dean lay quiet. If he let himself admit it he didn't care how old he was he did not want his father to let go. Ever since he found out he was having surgury he was desparetly trying to keep his walls up, but they were crumbling faster than he could repair them. The last time Dean could remember his father doing this was the night before his heart surgury and Dean knew the one place he felt the safest was in his fathers arms.

"Let it go kiddo." That was all Dean needed to hear, the build up of everything that happened this last year his father going missing, finding out the demon had plans for his little brother, the demon's and the nurses words, the fear of what was happening the next day, and the last of Dean's reserves fell and the flood gates opened.

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A short time later both Sam and Bobby came back to the room. Both were shocked to see John holding Dean. The Winchester's were a family of no chick flick moments. Both were equally suprised to see Dean sound asleep. Usually when something was bugging him he just sat there brooding. Both Sam and Bobby also did not miss the wet spot near on John's shirt near Dean's face. Had he been crying? Dean didn't cry ever!

Dean remained asleep for a couple of hours. When he woke up he was upset with himself. Any respect his father had left had to be gone after that little display and even though he didn't want to he tried to pull out of John's arms. Once again John would not let him.

"Dad let go."

"No."

"Dad please take Sam and Bobby go."

"I said no."

"Dad..."

"Only if you give me a good reason."

"The demon was right. I'm the weak link. You don't me. Sam doesn't need me, he proved that. He was fine all those years without me. I bet even Bobby thinks that. The nurse was right."

"I said a good reason Dean. And I never heard such bull in my life. You are the strong one, its me whose weak." Sam and Dean stared at their father in shock. " I would have fell apart after your mothers death if it wasn't for you. I'm the one who should be ashamed. I let a four your old take care of me. You always looked after me and Sammy. Just look at what you did after I got hurt that time, workign two jobs."

"And brought Social Services down on top of us."

"No, Dean you gave us a chance to stay together. If you hadn't did that we wouldn't have had money for food, or rent. What do you think they would have done if one of you boys fainted from hunger or they discovered we were living in the car. They would have taken you two for sure. Dean whatever happened at the party, the next day you held your head up high and walked into that school. I would never have had the courage to do that. What about those football players who were failing math, Sam told me they were the ones who picked on you the most and yet you still helped them."

"Only to get them to leave me alone." explained Dean. "I told them if they didn't stay away from me they were on their own."

"Did it work."

"Yeah, they had scholarships riding on that game."

"Why did you tutor them. Why not just put the smack down on them, you could have without breaking a sweat."

"No, social services was around, they were waiting for me or you to mess up. I didn't like working with them but I couldn't let them take Sammy. I also knew you would be upset, you were counting on me not to screw up

"So once again you did what you had to, to take care of me and Sammy."

"I wouldn't have had to do anything if I hadn't given them an oppurtunity to get to me in the first place."

"Dean, I won't pressure I'm going to ask this once and you don't have to answer. What happened at that party?" John knew of course but he had promised Sam. He didn't want to but couldn't stop himself , it all came out. The fake seance they were setting up, the plan to try scare him, and how he put a stop to it and what the kids said to him. John's heart when out to his son.

"Why didn't you let the kids go ahead, you knew it wouldn't scare you."

"You don't mess with that stuff. You never know what could happen."

"You had to know the kids would think you were scared, and tease you."

'I know but sometimes even fake rituals accidently work. I didn't want someone to get hurt."

"You know that sounds an awful lot like you putting someones elses needs before own. Stopping that prank you had to know what you were opening yourself up to yet you did. That takes a stong person Dean. If you want I got a ton more examples.

"You get your strength from your mother did you know that." Dean looked at John is suprise. John rarely spoke about Mary. "You are your mother through and through. When you were born premature I was terrified and I don't know what I would have done if not for her. Your mother though was rock solid she never allowed herself or me to think you were going to be anything put fine. I still remember the first time I held you. You were 17 days old, at first I was so scared I would hurt you, you were still so tiny and you were covered with tubes and wires. Your mother just picked you up, tubes and all. Mary never looked more beautiful then that day, she just glowed when you were in her arms the first time. Same thing happened when your mom held you Sam. Look here." John reached for his wallet and pulled out a small picture.

"The original was destroyed in the fire. Mike gave this to me." Sam and Dean both looked at the photo. There was John and Mary in the Neonatal ICU holding baby Dean.

"It's hard to see you son betneath all those tubes, but trust me your there. After we found out you were going to survive Dean the doctors still wouldn't give us hope. They said you were going to be disabled physically, cerebral palsy, probably blind having to be on the vent so long, said you would also be disabled mentally, never walk, or talk or even sit up. You proved them all wrong again."

"Except the mental part."

"Excuse me."

"The docs were right about that weren' they."

"Why would you say that Dean. "

"I took forever to learn to read, Sam could read when he was 4. It takes me forever to learn anything.:

Bobby decided it was time for him to join the converstion. "Jonathan Dean Winchester Jr, I have heard you say some dumb things but thats about the dumbest thing you ever. I seem to remember a young man who could name every part in a car by the time he was seven. I would let you help me repair cars when you got older and I still have some of my customers compliment the job you did and ask about you. I used alot of your suggestions for the repairs to the Impala and they were great. What about all those hunting gadgets of yours. Do you know that Caleb supplied those rock salt bullets to other hunters, he thought they were the greatest things. Lets not forget that homemade EMF dectector."

"I still use mine." said John "Sam said it saved the day on the plane. He also told me about the school and regional science fair. What was your project on Dean."

Dean rattled off something about car engines that even John and Bobby who knew there way around cars had trouble following.

"Plus I would say a full ride scholarship to MIT definetly proves how smart you are." added John

"Yeah Dean," said Sam "Did you know that MIT only accepts about 13 of the people that apply."

"You would know that geek boy."

"What made you decide to apply?" asked Sam

"I told you Sammy, the damm counsellor wouldn't stop bugging me. "

"Thats bull and you know it." said Sam.

" Sam just drop it okay."

Bobby could see that Dean was getting upset and it was his natural instinct to put a stop to it but he knew that Dean needed to get it out. "Hey kiddo, I want you to tell me okay."

"I told you the councellor..."

"Dean tell me the truth," stated Bobby. "You've never lied to me."

"I... I uh wanted to... um, I just...I ahh. I'm not lying that guy wouldn't stop..."

"Bugging you. Ok Dean, I believe you on that one but I know there's more." John was fighting every instinct in him not to issue those three magic words. He glanced at Dean monitors and noticed that his his reading were evelvated slightly. He did not want the alarms going off. He knew he would get kicked out. It was so rare that Dean opened up to him like this and knew if he gave Dean a chance to shut down those wall would be back up faster than John could blink and he would never get this opportunity again.

" I know how hard this is for you son but your doing great. Please what's wrong. What is it about this letter"

'Nothing. Just.. just leave it alone." Dean was really conflicted. He wanted nothing more than to be alone so he could get his thoughts together, yet at the same time, for the first time is a very long time Dean felt safe, he felt secure in his father's arms and he didn't want John to let go for any reason.

That's when Sam figured it out. There was one thing that Dean would never talk about. The more Sam tried the angrier Dean got. This had to be about...

"Mom.?" Sam stated simply. John felt Dean tense up and he knew Sam was right.

"Son please talk to me. Is this about your your mom?"

"I just... I wanted.. . I ah.. I just wanted... GO AWAY!" with that Dean did try to pull out of his fathers arms. Once again John just held on tighter.

Bobby cast a nervous glance toward the montiors as well. The reading were still up slightly nothing to cause concern yet. Bobby hated to see Dean struggle like this. Bobby could read Dean like a book. He knew what Dean was thinking. He decided to help him out.

"Your mom was a teacher. Education was important to her. You wanted her to be proud of you."

"Yes." the anwser from Dean was so low they almost missed it. "She would have been so upset with me.

"Why would you think that Dean."

"I was so bad at school. I bet mom never had to work with a tutor or go to summer school. She taught summer school, and she was the tutor."

"Dean, listen to me. Your mother WAS proud of you for one reason and that was because your you. The person you were. She was proud that her son was a fighter, he didn't give up no matter what odds were against him. She was proud that her son was a selfless caring person. No matter what you were always there to lend a hand. She was proud that you were the best big brother ever. "

"I'll vouch for that one Dean." answered Sam. "All my friends thought so to. I can't tell you how many times I had one of them tell me they wished you were there brother."

"Dean do you remember the yout brother was born."

"Yeah, I had only been asking for one since I could talk."

"Do you remember what happened in the waiting room."

"I was waiting for you to take me to see mom and Sammy."

"I ran into that other little boys father."

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that."

This was something both Sam and Bobby had never heard.

"Dean was in the waiting room with Kathy. There was this other little boy there right around Dean's age. As excited as he was about getting a little brother this little boy was not. By the time Dean got through talking to him he was even more excited about his little brother than Dean was. I was at the nursey a little while later, as I said I ran into that boys father. Something you didn't know kiddo. That little boy asked if he could name his little brother Dean. Said that way he would never forget to be the best big brother ever. The father agreed. Your mother told that story to every one she met. She used to joke that she was starting her own businsess and rent you out to kids that were getting little brothers or sisters.

"Dean your mom would not have been upset with you about school. Once again it's all me. I should have payed more attention. If I had your learning disablity would probably have been diagnosed a whole lot sooner and than school would not have been such a stuggle. I made you go to summer school so you could stay with your class. I felt it would have been worse for you to have to have to repeat an entire year. As for the tutor, at first you needed it. Then later when your grades improved I wwas all for letting you stop. However the school required it. They wanted to keep an eye on your progress. They said that it was very easy for someone with Dyslexia to fall back into old habits."

"So mom was... she was..." Dean tried to say

"Yeah kiddo, and its not just was." John paused. He took one arm and grabbed Sam and pulled him into a one armed hug. "She was, is, and always will be proud of both her boys."

Bobby walked over to the bed and but a hand an Dean's shoulder. "I feel the same way to. Dean there is nothing that you could say or do that would even make me not feel that way. There is only one thing that you could ever do that would make me upset."

Dean looked at his friend in the eye "I know Bobby, no cheering for the Red Sox."

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Dean was so emtionally exhausted that he drifted off to sleep. Secure in his fathers arms Dean actually was enjoying a peaceful sleep. John knew that his son would not heal over night but he felt as if they had both taken a big step. He was still scared of the facing surgury but he knew that as long as his family, John, Sam and Bobby were by his side there was nothing he couldn't face. In the morning, when Dr. Brookes brought the consent forms for Dean to sign he was prepared for a battle. He was more than a little shocked, when Dean with a shaking hand signed them without argument. True to his word Dr. Brookes had arranged for John to go right into the OR with Dean.

While Dean was is surgury John did some heavy thinking. John knew that he had to make some changes or he could lose his boys, in more ways than one and there was no way he could survive that. He still wanted to kill that Demon, It was going to be a long time before Dean was stong enough to hunt. However John knew where he was needed the most and he did not think that Mary would object if he waited a little while longer because Dean was right they were stonger as a family. They were going to after that thing together or not at all. The surgury went off without complication and when Dean woke up John was still there by his side.

Dean spent another week in the hospital before he was discharged. The day he left John made sure he got Dean's hospital bracelet and added it to his box. He also made a copy of Dean's letter for it as well and had the orginal laminated so it wouldn't rip and then he gave it back to Dean. Dean was discharged a week later. While he was waiting for Bobby to pick him up, and yes he said it would be in the Impala there was one last thing John wanted to do. He pulled Dean into a big bear hug, looked him straight in the eye and said

"I'm proud of you son."

THE END

A/N I hope you don't think that I had John and Dean out of character during the last part. I just figured that everyone had their breaking point, even Dean and he needed to get eveything off his chest. I also want to thank everyone who read and reviewed, . This is the first time I ever had the nerve to post on of my stories. While writing this I had an idea for a follow up to this story, If anyone is interested here is a small sneak peak to the follow up called That's My Boy. .

_John put his hand atop Mary's headstone. _

_"Dad do you think this was a good idea."_

_"I do." When they got to the cemetary Dean had refused to leave the car. "Just give him time Sam."_

_"I'm going to go check on him ok."_

_"Sure Sammy I'll be right there." _

_Sam headed back to the car and John turned back to Mary's grave. _

_"Who are you and why are you at my daughter's grave."_

_John turned when he heard the voice_

_The man who approached was shocked when he saw who it was. He couldn't believe his eyes._

_"John, John Winchester. What the hell are you doing here."_

_John looked up and said "Hello Frank."_


End file.
